A Sad Day

I think most Americans on Friday went about their business with a sense of sadness in their hearts.  The horrible shooting in Aurora, Colorado, early that morning is beyond words.  Who can grasp the reality of sitting in a movie theatre, enjoying the film in one minute, and then, the next minute, a door crashes open, some sort of noxious gas begins to fill the room, and, before you know it, shots ring out.  This is but one example of the evil that lingers in some troubled hearts in this world.

What is the cause of this terrible tragedy?  I'm not sure anyone can say for certain.  This is far too complicated for simple explanations.  To say that it is mental illness seems too easy.  Obviously there is evil involved, but that, too, is not the complete answer.

The suspect taken into custody looks like anyone of us.  When you look at his picture, he doesn't look like he's lived on the fringe.  He was studying neuroscience.  Yet, somewhere in his sick mind, he decided to kill in a very dramatic fashion.

What has become of a society that once stood for family values and solid morals?  We have disintegrated into a culture of narcissistic pleasure seekers who get their thrills from extremes.  In one sense, however, what do we expect?  We are a society that legally sanctions the killing of the unborn.  A number of states permit assisted suicide.  A few states now allow what is called gay "marriage" with many others now seriously considering it. 

We have turned our backs on God, relying, not on His will, but our own flawed, feeble will.  We are slowly converting the government, the state, into our moral compass, leaving the precepts laid down by God behind.  We have lost our way and we have gone so far down that path that I fear we are at a point of no return.  Those of us who adhere to the teachings of Jesus Christ are ridiculed and ignored, being seen as irrelevant.  Our voices are drowned out by those who consider their moral depravities as "compassionate."  The resulting decay of the family is the result of all of this.  Without the family, the traditional family, individuals can more easily drift into dangerous thought patterns that often are acted upon simply because we have come to understand that we must accept everything in the name of diversity.

Prayer is our response to this tragedy.  Prayer is the most powerful thing anyone can do.  We need to bring a once great nation whose very existence was based upon principles set forth by a loving and merciful God.  Every society, every culture in history that has strayed from these principles have found their nations crumbling at the altar of secularism. 

Pray.  Pray for the repose of the souls called home to God in the early hours of this Friday.  Pray that a nation will turn its heart around and find its way back to the Will of the Father.  And pray for all those lost souls who are heading toward violent acts that someone may care enough to intervene before they strike.

Ready!

Now that my mother's funeral has come and gone, I have had some time for some thought about the kind of woman she was.  Often we don't understand just how remarkable our parents are until they are gone.

Two days before she died, my mother was visited by a cousin, Tammy.  Tammy loved my mother very much along with her sister Cheryl.  Tammy would look after my mother whenever she was in the hospital.  Despite the struggles my mother was experiencing in these last hours of her life, she and Tammy had a good visit.  As Tammy was leaving, she asked my mother, "Mary Alice, are you ready to go?"  According to Tammy, my mother didn't skip a beat.  "Yes, I am," she answered.  "I don't want to to go, but I'm not scared."

These are words that say something significant about her character.  But more than that, those words serve as a memorial to the memory of my mother.

Hours before she would die, my mother was contemplating her departure.  If my mother was anything, she was a truthful person.  She would have never answered Tammy's question with anything but the truth.  Her answer reflects a great deal of courage and, especially, faith.

My mother's faith was strong but quiet.  She was not one to talk about it much, although over the last couple of years, she did bring up the subject with me from time to time.  When she moved into the nursing home that she called home until the last days of her life, one of the activities she participated in was a weekly Bible study.  Never before had I ever known her to do anything of this sort.

One evening about a year ago, she called me filled with an enthusiasm that couldn't be contained.  She told me all about something that they had discussed in that day's Bible study meeting.  She was filled with awe at what she had learned and was anxious to share it with me and anyone who might listen.  It was in this moment that I realized that she had a deep faith that yearned for nurturing.

In addition to the Bible study, she prayed a great deal.  She once related to me that when she couldn't sleep, she'd pull out her rosary even though it might be in the middle of the night, and pray.  She often mentioned that she talked to God all throughout the day.  She felt especially close to Mary, the Mother of God.  This was a lesson that she had learned from her mother, my grandmother.

So it should come as no surprise to hear what her answer to Tammy's bold question was.  My mother loved life and lived it to the fullest.  She did everything with great zest and nothing was ever done half way.  Her faith was the same way.  Yet, until the end of her life, because she chose to share some of it with me, I had never known.  Her phrase "I'm not scared" was rooted in her belief and knowledge that when she died she would enter into the presence of God and be admitted into His presence for all eternity.  Her affirmation that she had no fear of dying wasn't some bold statement to show her courage.  It was a beautiful and unique affirmation of her faith.

These words, spoken as she faced the last few hours of her life, will serve for me as a monument to her long and well-lived life.  It will be a reminder to me that I need to live in dignity and integrity, developing and maintaining my faith every day since I do not know when I will be called home.  

No, my mom did not want to leave us.  She loved us and the world in which she lived.  But she understood with the eyes of faith that even though we must part, we would one day be reunited in the presence of God for all eternity.  As a result, we also should not be scared.  There can be no greater monument to the memory of this remarkable woman whom I had the privilege of calling "mom" all these years.

Life

When you are in the midst of sadness brought about by the death of a loved one, God has unique ways of showing compassion and kindness through the acts of everyday life.

With the loss of my mother earlier this week, there has been a certain sadness within me that comes with the parting of the ways between parent and child.  In my case, it has not been a devastating sadness simply because her passing was not unexpected.  She was elderly and in very frail health for quite some time.  She had run her race and it was time to go home.

Tonight, we were reminded that life continues even though a loved one has passed, life continues on in the form of thee little girls who are the very definition of living.

Aliyah, a soon to be ten year old, is curiosity itself.  Filled with wonder for the world in which she lives, she communes as easily with bugs in a little plastic container as she does with human beings.  She wouldn't harm one of God's creatures for anything and takes the passing of a squirrel as a personal loss.  In addition, Aliyah consumes books and all reading material in the same fashion as a connoisseur of fine wine.  She doesn't just read the words on a page, she savors them, finds the little nuances of the story, and takes them into her heart.  She is a true artist of the English language at this tender age.

Kierah, nearly six years old, is sweetness of life.  She smiles and this grandpa's heart melts away.  She will enthrall you with stories of her favorite characters from the "Little Mermaid" or spellbind you with tales of the every day activities of one of her favorite dolls.  She is the epitome of what a child should be.  Her insight to life is plain and simple, love those around you as much as you can and all will be well.

Then there is the baby of the household, Noe.  Noe is independence wrapped up in twenty months of life.  Always on the go, this little engine is the very embodiment of independence.  Twenty months going on twenty years, nothing stops her.  This little dynamo will rearrange chairs if the seating chart doesn't suit her.  She chatters away as she goes about her business with non-stop energy that leaves most adults breathless.

Most of all, however, an evening such as this, reminds us that God's comfort comes in the form of family.  The unconditional love that abounds will see you through anything if you but allow it to do so.  When you are together, you know that no one, living or dead, is left out.  My late mom would have reveled in this evening.  She would have smiled from ear to ear and laugh countless times at the antics of these three precious reminders of God's gift of life to us.  She would have talked about it for days and how she thought everybody had a good time and how wonderful her great-granddaughters were.

In the midst of this amazingly clear, moonlit spring evening, I had the feeling that my mother was right there with us on the walk in the shadow of the rising moon.  She was on the floor with the girls exploring the world of childhood characters that reflect the innocence of a child's view of life.  And she would have delighted in the chatter of a family living life to its fullest and cherishing each and every moment, fully aware that this life is but a fragile journey to the next permanent and glorious existence that she now enjoys!

To Josh and Melissa, thank you for creating a family whose foundations are firmly planted in love and mutual respect for each other.  You are what parenthood is all about, the self-sacrificing, self-giving, selfless love that is indeed eternal.  Grandma would have loved to have been a part of this special gathering.  And I firmly believe that she was!

A Passing In The Night

A woman died in the middle of the night.  This is nothing extraordinary.  It happens all the time.  But this passing was personal, for the woman in question was my mother.

Mary Alice King was, in so many ways, an ordinary woman, but in so many other ways, there was nothing ordinary about her.

It is somewhat of a miracle that she lived for eighty-five years.  She started out life in the small Midwestern town of Pekin, Illinois.  She was born in the middle of winter on January 28, nearly two months premature, along with a twin brother, Robert.  He was slightly over two pounds at birth; she was slightly under two.  In an era in which modern technology had yet to develop the kinds of remarkable machinery and techniques to sustain the life of a premature child so small, my mother's first days were spent in the slightly heated oven with a small bowl of water to keep she and her brother comfortable.

Both babies were fed from an eye dropper and both struggled mightily to live.  However, shortly after the first day of February, little Robert suffered a seizure and died in my grandmothers arms.  But my mother, apparently a very independent and strong-willed person from the very start, continued on.  She survived those early beginnings, of course, and went on to become a remarkably strong woman.

There are so many things that could be said at a time like this.  So many stories could be told about her like how much she loved to swim, how much music played a part in her life, how she had the ability to laugh at herself, never really taking herself too seriously.  She was a woman of great faith that I did not discover until the final years of her life, praying the rosary several times a day.  But the one thing that was most remarkable about her was her amazing strength.

My mother was a fiercely independent woman.  She faced life on her own terms.  She was, in many ways, a woman ahead of her time, although she would have never thought of herself in that way. She loved music and at an early age learned how to play the piano and other instruments.  There is a story that she used to tell about herself that is typical of the way she could laugh at herself.  As a little girl, she learned the piano.  The requisite recital came along and she proudly seated herself at the keyboard.  She began playing the tune and things were going just fine.  Her proud parents beamed in the audience.  However, when she neared the end of the piece, she forgot how to wrap it up!  She did not remember how it ended.  So, she simply began playing it over from the start.  When the audience realized this, they began to chuckle.  Her mother, my grandmother, was mortified.  She stepped up on the stage and quickly extracted my mother from the embarrassing moment.  As my mother told this story, she laughed and laughed.

She learned to swim at early age and it became a lifelong passion for her.  She became a lifeguard as a teenager and kept her certification up well into her 70's.  After she retired from the insurance company that she had worked for for over thirty years, she swam daily at her local YWCA.  She became such a regular, that the management asked her if she would like to teach young children how to swim..  My mother had never taught anyone formally anything.  But, like everything else she did in life, she agreed to do it and threw herself headlong into her new career.

She taught children from every background and age.  Some even had physical problems, but that didn't stop her.  She reveled in her new role and touched the lives of many, many children.  Four days a week, for some four to six hours each day, you could find her at the pool, teaching kids how to have fun in the water safely.  Finally, in her seventies, she decided that she was getting too old for this because she found herself getting tired more easily.  While she quit teaching, she continued to swim, this time for fun, on a nearly daily basis.

The greatest physical challenge of her life came in her later years.  A number of years ago, she began noticing that her vision didn't seem quite the way it should have been.  Once she described what was happening to her.  She felt like there was a smudge on her glasses that she couldn't wipe away.  This continued on for some months, growing worse with time.  Finally, she decided to have it checked out and was diagnosed with macular degeneration.  She was going blind.

But my mother, in typical fashion, was determined not to have something as insignificant as blindness hold her back.  She continued on with much difficulty.  She was a proud, independent woman, but the encroaching darkness began to rob her of that independence.  Slowly, but surely, the things she used to do on her own, things that were simple, ordinary tasks that were once easy, now became difficult.  Yet, she accepted very little help even though she could have used it.  Remarkably, she continued to drive, finally deciding that this wasn't too good of an idea when, on one dark, rainy evening, she found herself driving up on a sidewalk not far from home.  This is one of the only times I have ever seen my mother frightened.  One of the hardest things she had to do in the final years of her life was to give up driving.  Fortunately, however, she had a host of friends who pitched in and helped her with great generosity.

In 2005, she suffered a major hear attack.  She woke up on a Sunday morning, not feeling right.  She showered as she prepared for church and felt like her chest was terribly congested.  But, she passed it off as the early symptoms of the flu.  She went about her business throughout the day, feeling worse with each passing moment.  By Monday morning, the congestion in her chest had grown into a crushing sensation.  She could barely move out of her recliner due to shortness of breath.  She called her friend to come and take her to the hospital.  However, she was too weak to get to the car and so an ambulance was called.  It was discovered that one of the main blood vessels of the heart had been completely blocked.  It was amazing that she didn't die then.  With remarkable determination, she came back, never as strong as she was before the attack, but not slowed down much by any means.

In the last seven years, we watched as declining health began to take its toll.  She moved into an assisted care facility and after a period of adjustment, she to love the community and made many friends.  Her health continued to decline.  Finally, she came to a point where she could no longer take care of herself adequately.   The time that she had never wanted to come had arrived; moving into a nursing home.  Her health failed on numerous occasions and every time she rallied against all odds.  Until the latest event.

One week ago she was hospitalized because of shortness of breath.  She could not breathe without assistance.  She spent the last week of her life tied to a bi-pap machine, gasping for air every time it was removed.  She was miserable, yet she told us that she was going to get better and no one doubted that very much since she had defied the odds so many other times.  However, the shortness of breath and the strain that it put on her heart was too much and in the early morning hours of May 31, 2012, her heart gave out.

So now my mother is, at long last, at rest.  No more struggling to breathe.  No more depending on others to take care of her physical needs.  No more darkness of sight.  She has come into the Light and I am sure she is now using her musical talents to praise God along with the choirs of angels and heavenly host.

There is an emptiness in my heart but that emptiness is eclipsed by gratitude and love.  Like so many others, I never fully appreciated my mother until the last few years.  I had never seen her as the woman of strength and courage that she was.  She gave me many gifts, among them a sense of independence and determination.  She loved her family.  Her grandchildren meant everything to her.  In her last years, she took great joy in watching her great grandchildren grow.  She loved their visits and proudly displayed their pictures in her room at the nursing home.

Mary Alice King, my mother, will be missed.  She has gone to a place of peace and joy and no longer suffers the infirmities of a failing body.  The lessons she taught are invaluable.  But the thing she left us with was an incredible sense of love.  She was not demonstrative in her love, but you knew she loved.

I spent a few hours of what turned out to be the last day of her life with her.  She was miserable, constantly trying to adjust the mask to make it more comfortable.  The last thing I saw her eat was, fittingly, chocolate ice cream.  She had a sweet tooth as big as the Grand Canyon.  As the afternoon wore on, she grew more and more fatigued.  Finally, it was time to leave.  I kissed her good-bye and told her that I loved her.  I told her that I would talk to her later and as I started to leave, she said to me, "Tell Joan (my wife) hello and that I love her."  That was typical.  And these were the last words we ever exchanged.

My world will not be the same without my mother.  But her influence and love will never fade.  I am sad, but I am also grateful that she lived such a full life and now, she is with God at peace and in joy.  She was truly a remarkable woman.

College Contraception

I thought I had seen everything until yesterday when Nancy Pelosi, that well-known Catholic theologian, held hearings regarding how much of a financial burden that securing contraceptives for this nation's college co-eds represents.  A young female witness from Georgetown University, testified that it was putting undue financial strains on her because her contraceptives were not free.  She bemoaned how unfair this was and that it made life really difficult.  Of course, Ms. Pelosi, bemoaned right along with her.  Obviously, the congresswoman and the co-ed agreed with the assessment that this was pure discrimination against women.  A co-ed does have the right to sleep with anyone she pleases at any time she pleases and we need to pay for her birth control so we don't have more abortions because, as everyone knows, we don't want that!

How much more do we have to sit through such bilge?  How much more are we expected to lend a sympathetic ear to America's co-eds who experience financial hardships because their budgets are stretched by the need to purchase birth control?  Since when was contraception a right?  Since when are we supposed to pay for birth control for someone else so they can participate in carnal delights as often as they like without one shred of responsibility?  How about abstinence?  Has anyone considered that as the only 100% foolproof way of avoiding the conception of that unwanted human being?

It is time that we stand up and call out the fools of our leadership and society.  What a woman does in the privacy of her own home or dorm room is strictly up to her.  But don't invite us into the room with forcing us to pay for her birth control.  We have to put a stop to this entitlement thinking.  Birth control is not a right and don't even try to tell me that I can say this because I am a man and don't have to worry about the consequences!  That argument simply does not wash.

The sad thing is that the way things are going what with Obama and his administration forcing religious institutions to pay for the provision of contraceptives, we will one day soon have to supply them free to anyone and everyone.  Of course, they are not free.  We, the people, are the ones who will paying for them.  What if I don't agree with the morals of any college student-male or female-who chooses to sleep with whomever and whenever?  Should I still be forced to pay for their birth control?  I think not!  These views may be seen as old fashioned and judgemental.  My response to that is, "So what!"  There is something to be said about old fashioned values and adhering to some sort of moral standard that retains the dignity of the human being.  Maybe our college students should worry more about the next paper due or the next presentation that needs further preparation than where their next free batch of contraception will come from!

Absurdly Absurd!

When President Obama asserted that Jesus Christ would back him on his push to tax the wealthy more by quoting Luke 12: 48, he reached a new low in the mixing of religion and politics.  The verse reads, "Of everyone to whom much is given, much will be required."

Here, Jesus is speaking of the individual.  All of us have been given gifts and talents that we are to use for the betterment of mankind and for the bringing of the Kingdom of Heaven closer to us.  Christ was not speaking about governments.  He was not saying that the government has the right to take more from those who are more privileged monetarily speaking.  That is absurd.  That notion, that the wealthy owe it to the rest who have less and, in many cases, far less, is simply not just.  It is not fair for the government to take more money away from the individual who has worked very hard all their life and has achieved a measure of success and give it to those who have not had the same good fortunes.  Jesus would not approve of such a thing because this action is not just and it was justice that Christ came to renew.

Obama and his administration always remind us about the separation of church and state.  Where is that idea here, Mr. President?  Are you now claiming that God has given the green light to tax those whom He has greatly blessed just because it, in your mind it is fair?  And how did this president, a chief executive who has seldom been to church during the course of his administration, come to hear the word of God and interpret it this way to suit his own agenda?

It also seems strange that the president would make an appearance at a prayer breakfast only days after the Catholic bishops of the United States began standing up against the administration's policy regarding contraceptive services.  How stupid does this man think we are?  Is it not clearly evident that the president is politicizing the Word of God?  I know he is far from the first politician to do so.  This practice has a long and not so proud history.  But this president, especially, seems to have crossed the line into absurdity with this assertion.  If you believe that the tax hike on the rich is fair and just and the right thing to do, Mr. President, then just say so and let it be at that.  Don't claim the Redeemer would approve of this based on a verse from the Gospel, a verse that has no application to the government confiscating more money from the private sector to give to the government to spend in ways that no one really knows.  I guess the president is in favor of separation of church and state only when it benefits him but is more than in favor when he can make a pronouncement of colossal ignorance such as this!

An Angry Catholic

Christianity is under attack in this country.  This is no secret.  And the one church that seems to be bearing the brunt of this attack is the Roman Catholic Church.

In the last several years, a very few members of the Catholic clergy have been proven guilty of the most heinous of crimes--sexual abuse of children.  These priests and the bishops who covered for them are the lowest of the low and all should be prosecuted for their crimes.  They have darkened the reputation of a Church that has done an enormous amount of good throughout the ages.  Perhaps these scandals are the justification of the attacks that are now being carried out.  I am not certain.  But what I am certain of is this: it is time for Catholics who love their faith and the Church that brings that faith to them to stand up for the faith and cry foul no matter who the culprit is.

The most egregious perpetrator is the Federal Government of the United States of America.  Namely, President Barack Obama and his administration.  Recently, his administration announced that the church and all those religiously affiliated institutions must, within a year, provide ALL contraceptive services up to and including abortion.  There are to be no exceptions.

This is an unprecedented move on behalf of the Federal Government.  It is the total denial of religious freedom. Catholics are being told that in a year's time they must provide services that the Church roundly condemns.  It forces good, dedicated professionals into positions of carrying out procedures that most, if not all, do not believe in and find abhorrent.  Under Obamacare, doctors, nurses, and other health care providers will have to provide contraceptive services regardless of what they believe or feel about them.

What happened to the precious separation of church and state that the liberal establishment parades about during the holidays when the annual assault on manger scenes depicting the birth of Christ plays out?  How can the government dictate these kind of terms to a religiously based organization?  We are told that it is only fair, that this will include all and provide a level playing field.  All of this is nothing but a well crafted propaganda scheme hidden behind the cloak of fairness to completely minimize an icon of an institution who has traditionally provided moral guidance to society.

It is time for Catholics in the pews to stand up and state in no uncertain terms that this is unacceptable.  It is time to call these tactics what they really are: a power grab designed to extinguish any societal influence the church and her teachings have left in society.

Obama lied when he assured Americans that abortion would not be covered under his insurance scam.  Certainly, it may not be spelled out in the pages of the massive document!  But it is there in the fine print.  Obama is determined to eliminate all barriers to this most abhorrent of societal crimes.  Cloaked under the guise of "women's reproductive health," this move to provide abortion and other abortifactents is a calculated move on the part of the President to bring secularism into full flower in American society.

A growing number of bishops throughout the country have stood up and voiced their vehement objections to this declaration.  Letters from the shepherds of the church have been written to their congregations and have been read from countless pulpits throughout the country.  They are insistent that this will not happen and that they will not abide by the administration's ruling.  They have told the laity that they cannot accomplish the blocking of this action on their own.  They have spelled out to the laity that it is their duty to contact their representatives, senators, and the president himself, vocalizing their objection to this move in no uncertain terms.

Catholic laity must rise!  We must make our voices heard.  This is an election year and your elected officials will listen with a little more interest because they want to keep their jobs.  We must make it crystal clear to them, in no uncertain terms, that if they allow this travesty to come about, the Catholic vote will most certainly turn against them.

We can no longer stand in the shadows and allow the bishops to do all the work.  Priests must step up in the pulpit and educate the laity as to what is going on even at the risk of a backlash in the form of diminishing offerings.  We all must become defenders of the faith if our faith means anything to us.  We can all talk a good game but we must now show that our words have teeth as shown by our actions.

This kind of action should not, however, be limited to Catholics.  All Christians are threatened by the Obama administration move.  We must all set aside our differences and work to see that this provision of Obamacare never sees the light of day.  We all believe in the same God and worship His Son who came to save the world from just such enslavement.  We must unite and stand down Obama and his bent towards silencing us.

Another incident just a few days ago also caught my attention.  In Rhode Island, a group of Catholic school girls were attending a pro-life rally at the state capitol.  Suddenly, wall street occupiers burst on to the scene and began chanting obscenities at the group.  One of the members of the occupiers climbed one of the capitol columns and dumped a box of condoms onto the girls.  Then, near the close of the event, when a priest tried to end the rally with a prayer, the occupiers surrounded the podium and began shouting again, preventing the priest from even uttering a prayer.

It seems that liberals always proclaim that they want diversity and inclusion.  They welcome all points of view and do not interfere with the rights of others.  This bunch proved them dead wrong.

Liberals do not like diversity unless that diversity happens to agree with their point of view.  They want freedom of speech and while they have every right to voice their opinion on the abortion issue, they simply do not have the right to prevent others from speaking out on their opposing views.  They do not have the right to assault someone with condoms.

Did you hear about this story?  Probably not because the main stream media has chosen not to utter one syllable of this news.  Instead, you have to rely on websites like Fox News and other websites who are not afraid to highlight this depraved act.  Had this been a Tea Party tactic, it would have been the lead story on each network newscast and rightly so.  But this was the actions of a group backed by President Obama and his administration and so they are granted the mantel of protection of the elite.

Religion in general, and Christianity in particular is under attack in this society.  It requires all of us who say we follow Jesus Christ to raise our voices as one and shout as loudly as we can, "No more!"  These are serious issues that effect every American and every American had better pay attention to what the government is attempting to do because, I promise, they will not stop with Christianity!

The House That Gives Life

Recently, the house in the photo above, was sold and a new family moved in.  So what?  Well, this house was the Smith Family home for many years.  When it was first built, it was one of the only houses in the area.  Now, it is but one among many in a densely populated subdivision.

For years, this house was the center of life for the Smiths.  The family gathered each year to celebrate Christmas, the favorite family holiday.  Packages nearly dwarfed the Christmas tree placed strategically in the center of the bay window for all to see and enjoy.  Peals of laughter and excitement could always be heard those Christmas Eve Nights as adults and children alike gathered together to welcome the Christ Child.  The next day, the aroma of a freshly baked turkey nearly the size of the kitchen itself permeated the house.  The warmth of a crackling fire in the fireplace punctuated the air, adding to the warm feeling of the season.

Birthdays and anniversaries were noted and celebrated within these walls as well.  No one was ever forgotten.  All were welcome as the family's matriarch and patriarch looked on in joy and contentment at their growing family.  They converted this house into a home and it was to this place that all would eventually come at one time or another throughout the year just to be "home."

But time passes and things change.  Children grow up and become adults.  Grandchildren are added to the joy and celebrations become larger and larger.  Soon, great-grandchildren make an appearance and the joy of new life makes the home feel indescribably warm.

Here, within these four walls, the Smiths gave life.  The house provided shelter but soon became a part of the family, always drawing those who call themselves Smith back to within its walls.

Years passed and the parents aged along with everyone else.  Along with age, sadly, can come infirmity and the first signs that life is not endless.  Six years ago, in the spring of 2005, the family matriarch left this world suddenly and unexpectedly.  Yet another family gathering, this one far more somber than any other in its history, took place.  But even in this gathering there were remembrances of life and joy.

More time passed and on an early spring morning in 2010, the patriarch of the Smith Family passed.  The house that had become a home, the home that had become a part of the family, now stood empty.

Much work was needed to clear out several decades of living.  Once the material goods of a life well lived had been removed, the family home went on the market.  But there was no quick sale here!  Finally, after a little over 18 months, the family home was sold.

There was a certain amount of relief when the sale was completed.  It represented a closure of sorts, a time for the family to move on with only memories and a myriad of pictures to accompany them.  But there is also a great deal of sadness in this event.  This home, filled with love and life, is no longer a part of the family.  A new family now occupies its walls and the only walks through its hallways, living room, bedrooms, and family room is in the mind.  And while this is a treasure, it can never match the sheer joy of just being there.

But the story does not end here.  This house, built several decades ago, housed a family full of life, love, energy, and non-stop fun.  It provided shelter to all who entered it.  It endured Midwestern seasonal changes as though it was proudly protecting its occupants living safely and securely inside.

Now the house enters a new chapter.  A new family resides within its walls.  New pictures have been hung.  Perhaps a fire, the first in many years, has been lit in the hearth.  The comings and goings of every day life now provide a new rhythm to its existence and it is once again filled with life.  And that is what this existence is all about.  Life has its changes.  They are inevitable.  Some are good.  Some not so good.  But all represent an evolution of life, a chance to grow and change based upon what has happened in the past.

Another family has celebrated its first Christmas in their new home.  New traditions have begun within its walls and somewhere deep in our hearts we yearn to go back just one more time for a stroll through the living room, to climb the stairs to the bedrooms, or even take a chance at the basement!  But we will never take that stroll because life has changed, has moved on.  And while there is an emptiness of sorts because the house is gone, we will forever remember the laughter, the joy, the sheer pace of life for when this was home.  May those who not occupy it find the same comfort that this old friend brought us for so many years!

A Christmas Story

Recently, the home in which my elderly mother lives threw a Christmas party for the residents.  Musicians led the group in traditional Christmas carols and songs that I am sure took many of them back to days when life was filled with family, friends, work, kids, and everything else that constitutes an active life.  Many of them sang along with great spirit and vitality even though their tired bodies seldom are able to display such energy.

Life was etched on their faces.  One gentleman who sat near me was just over 100 years old.  As I watched him, I noticed he sang with all the zest of a twenty something.  His face lit up as old familiar tunes like "Frosty the Snowman," "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," and "Silent Night" sounded throughout the room.  I am certain that he was unaware that he smiled as he sang every note with an energy that I am sure he had not had in some time.  

In other corners of the room, other residents sang out, often way off key, but the sheer pleasure they had in recounting and singing these old traditional Christmas songs brought them to life.  The emcee of the festivities who is also the Activities Director of the home, strolled through the room talking to each of the residents, kidding them about nearly everything from their age to how many meds they take on a daily basis.  Peels of laughter followed all his incredibly corny but gentle remarks.  He brought smiles to faces that probably had had very little reason to smile in some time.

Or course, there were a handful of residents who sat there silently, lost in their own world.  But they were no less a part of the community than anyone else.  They had as much attention paid to them as everyone else.  Still, it was sad to see them so disconnected from the present world, living in the past somewhere unknown to those around them.

As I looked at each face, it suddenly struck me that here is where a very unique aspect of God come to life.  In these elderly citizens who spent years toiling at their lives, raising families, building businesses and industries, and being productive citizens, can be found a spirit of life that only God can instill.  Many have serious medical problems that would knock most of us off our feet.  Yet, somehow, they find ways to keep going.  Against all odds, many of them are living well past 100 years old and manage to still contribute to the community in ways beyond the material and monetary.  

In this room was the accumulated wisdom of lives led through great struggles and magnificent triumphs.  Here was the "Greatest Generation," the generation that saved the world from dictatorial domination and established a way of life that became the envy of the world.  Here were the remnants of a proud generation fading from our midst with little notice.  And in the midst of these aged treasures, God is very clearly present.

He is present in every joyful smile whether elicited by an old Christmas carol or a memory sparked by one of these old favorites.  He is even present in those who are off in some other bygone world because in that world they find comfort and solace.  His love for the simple gestures of love was apparent every time a resident was offered a cookie and a broad smile of thanks swept across their face.  In these ways and countless others, He ministers to us through those who have gone before us.  

His smile is the smile of the 93 year old woman who remembered the first time she ever heard "Jingle Bells."  His playfulness was in the twinkling eye of the 102 year old man as he sang "Walking in a Winter Wonder Land."  His tenderness was in the face of the 85 year old woman as she softly, almost prayerfully, chanted the verses to "Silent Night."  In those moments He reached out to all of us in that room in very personal ways.

In the same way over 2000 years ago, He made Himself manifest in the face of an infant child born to a poor couple in a far off, nearly forgotten part of the world.  Here, in this obscure country of strange people, the Savior of the World became flesh and dwelt among us.  Here He reached out to us through His Son in so many and diverse ways that He continues to touch our hearts today even though so often we ignore His loving attention.  He never gives up.  He always persists because He loves us for who we are.

In a very real sense, the Christmas Story was retold in the faces of these elderly residents.  There were no angels announcing the birth of a Savior, only the expressions of years and years of life and their encounters with the living child born in that cave so long ago.  The hopes, the fears, the sorrows, the joys were all revealed in those moments as God in His infinite mercy and compassion revealed Himself to be the Master of us all.  He has given all of us to each other as a gift just as He gave His only Son to us as a gift on that dark night centuries ago.  We must learn to look at each other as this gift and give the respect, dignity, honor and love due to one another.  In this way, the Christmas Story will live on in a very unique way within each one of us.  And in this way, we shall experience the coming of the Lord every day and maintain the Christmas spirit throughout the year!

Have a Blessed and Merry Christmas!

A Very Special World Series

The St. Louis Cardinals are the 2011 Baseball Champions of the world!  And this baseball crazy town will revel in this amazing series for years to come.  And why not?  Back at the end of August, no one, and I mean no one, expected this team to be anywhere but on the golf course or off fishing somewhere right about now.  But the team, thankfully, didn't listen to all the "experts."

This victory means a great deal to the City of St. Louis and the surrounding area.  It goes far beyond baseball.  Unemployment continues to be high.  Crime in certain parts of the city runs rampant.  Prospects of future economic prosperity seem uncertain at this point.  But this team gave everyone here a bread in all the depressing news of the day.

All of us watched, with skepticism at first, as the Cardinals began to pull things together at the end of August.  Still, you would be hard-pressed to find anyone who thought at that point that the Cardinals would make it to the post season.  Yet, the team kept pounding away steadily at its opponents, winning one series after another and the gap between them and the Atlanta Braves began to shrink.  The Cardinals had to catch Atlanta if they were to enter the playoffs as a wild card.  Even half way through the month that seemed an impossibility.

Yet, as the month progressed, so did the Cardinals until, finally, on a night late in September, the home team beat the Houston Astros and waited to see how the Braves would fare in Atlanta.  If Atlanta won, the Cardinals would head home to clean out their lockers and make plans for a long winter.  If, however, Atlanta lost, the Cardinals would clinch the wild card spot and would continue to play.  With the team and Cardinal Nation on pins and needles, Atlanta extended the game into extra innings, exaggerating the tension even more.  Finally, late that night, Atlanta lost and the Redbirds headed to the post season where, by the way, no one expected them to do anything!  The rest, as they say, is history.

What this team did in the waning days of summer and early days of autumn lifted the spirits of all who followed them.  They helped us to momentarily forget our woes.  Their exploits on the field captivated millions as they boldly marched through the Fall Classic.  Sure, unemployment and crime remained, but at least for a few brief hours of an evening, those things were momentarily pushed into the background.

There was an excitement in the air that you could feel everywhere you went.  Much of the talk was about how they were doing.  Yet, no one dared think that the St. Louis Cardinals, who barely made it into the playoffs, could possibly do the impossible--win the World Series.  But somehow they did and in doing so they have endeared themselves to a hurting community in a very special way.

This is what sports is all about.  Both teams put their best on the field and competed to the best of their ability.  There was no chest thumping on either side, no sniping, no personal affronts to stir up the team and engage the media.  No, this was pure competition and we loved it.

As the year fades and the holidays come upon us, the memories of this year's version of the St. Louis Cardinals will burn brightly during the dreary winter days ahead.  Through sports and the competitive spirit of the 2011 World Series, this community came together for a common purpose.  The Cardinals became ambassadors of a sort, who united groups into one huge cheering section and reveled in a world championship.  This is the stuff of heroes, the ability to bring together widely diverse elements of a community for a common purpose and we thank them for the ride.

Congratulations St. Louis Cardinals.  You have done much more than win a World Series!

October. The Month of Splendor

All months have their special and unique aspects.  Even July and August with their stifling heat and humidity have something unique to contribute to our lives.  But there is something about the month of October that makes this 31 day stretch more special than any other comparable time.

October is the month of transition.  The declining number of hours of sunset now has nature hastily preparing for the cold and desolate months of winter that lie only weeks ahead.  Sit back and look out your window and you will see birds eating more and more in preparation either for flight south or the dreary days with little food to be found.  Squirrels scamper about the yard, often carrying in their jaws a walnut that has just dropped out of a nearby tree.  Even the trees get in on the act as the chlorophyll begins to retreat in the leaves uncovering the spectacular colors of the season most of us wait for with eager anticipation.

It is a time in which we humans begin to convert our lives from mainly outdoor activities to ones spent indoors in the warm glow of the family home.  The exception to that is the Friday night ritual called football.  All across the land, parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, friends, and the media gather in mostly small stadiums to watch their high school athletes play at America's passion.  Marching bands at halftime and stadium blankets are all a part of the ritual as the chill of the October evening descends.

October is a month of magic.  It is a month that we all seem to come alive in some fashion, refreshed by the cool breezes from the north.  It is the doorway to the holidays and suddenly, a day like Thanksgiving doesn't seem so far off.  It is a month when people actually notice nature in all its splendor, when the family jumps into the car to do nothing else but look at the colorful leaves.  At no other time does the family just simply take a ride into the countryside for no reason other than to be there!

October's promise is the promise of life fulfilled.  After the heat of a long growing season, farmers flock to their fields, gathering in the literal fruits of their labors.  Take a ride down a country highway in the Midwest on any given October day and you will see the tell tale columns of dust hanging lazily over the fields that are being harvested.  Each dry day now is not a day to be dreaded as they are in the spring as planting gets underway.  Rather, a day without rain is a day to be cherished and thankful for during the great harvest.  Clear blue skies mean uninterrupted hours of harvesting and that ensures countless livelihoods.

October is the month of life.  yes, nature is preparing for her great hibernation, but it is not death.  The colors of the trees remind us of just how alive and spectacular nature is.  The creatures of the forest gather stores of food not because they fear death, but because they embrace life and instinctively know that the rebirth of spring awaits them.  We, too, prepare for the cold months ahead by gathering friends and family together for the day set aside to celebrate life and all it has to offer.  We call it Thanksgiving and, for most, it is truly a day of rest, companionship with those we love, and a deep-seeded gratitude for what he have.

Celebrate October.  Don't miss one day of it.  Absorb it like a sponge because there are no two Octobers alike.  This one will come and go and we'll have our memories and photographs to mark the days of this unique one, but know that God will once again grace us with this month of splendor.  This magnificent October!

A Birthday Blessing

I have led a blessed life!  It has been a life full of its troubles not unlike anyone else's life.  But it has had its great blessings as well.  I have had the opportunity to meet and work with some very interesting people whom society considers to be important.  I have had the opportunity to travel to fascinating places and experience historical events where they actually took place.  I have worked in many different areas.  I have seen many things and have been blessed with an education that has opened up the world of learning to me that still happens to this very day.  But above all, I have been particularly blessed by one woman of extraordinary character:  my wife.

Joan is the strongest person I know in so many ways.  We have seen each other through some very harrowing times, growing stronger because of them.  The most momentous of these was the battle against breast cancer which threatened her life.  It was "our" disease and there wasn't a moment throughout the journey that we were ever without each other.

We have witnessed the advent of grandchildren in our lives.  These little gems have brought a joy that only a grandparent can know.  These powerhouses of life and love light up tired eyes and weary hearts in ways that are beyond the ability of any author to fully capture.  Grandchildren remind you that there is hope in the world, accompanied by smiles and laughter just because you have come to see them.

Companionship is but one element of my relationship with Joan that I cherish.  She has always encouraged me to go and do what my heart desires even though it may mean that she has to sacrifice things in order for this to happen.  She has encouraged my writing, my continuing education, and my evolution as a human being ins such a selfless way, that I am sometimes overwhelmed.  She puts up with my shortcomings and understands me in ways that others cannot possibly even fathom.

She has taught me the meaning of courage.  Through the battle with cancer, as the toxic medications employed to combat this dread disease coursed through her veins, she never uttered a word of discouragement or hopelessness.  Through the grueling thirty-six rounds of intense radiation therapy, as her skin burned to a point where it literally peeled away from her body exposing raw tissue below, she never once complained about the unbelievable pain, even though she had every right to do so.  We experienced a miracle of unknown proportions when we learned that the tumor and all its remnants had died.  And this summer, we humbly thanked God for her sixth year without cancer.  Joan is just as courageous as the soldier going into battle.

There are so many other things that I could tell you about her, but the one final thing I'll mention, is the fact that she is the love of my life.  Yes, we have our troubles, just like any other couple might have.  Yes, there have been times when the both of us must have wondered what we got ourselves into.  But there has never been a doubt in my mind that my love for her is undying and continues to grow day by day.

Joan is a remarkable woman,  She is my companion and I look forward to sharing many more years with her as we slip into the older time of life.  She is my support, encouraging me to become the best person I possibly could become.  Most of all, however, she is my friend through thick and thin.

Yes, God has blessed me greatly all these years and as I turn 58 I realize that the greatest blessing bestowed upon me has been at my side for many wonderful years.  I can't remember a time without her.  May we never take each other for granted and continue to see in each other the blessing that God has made each of us to one another.

I am blessed this birthday to have the greatest gift of all, the unconditional love of my wonderful Joan!

9/11 & Noe

Today, September 11, 2011, marks the tenth anniversary of the attack by terrorists on the United States.  As a result, this has been a weekend of retrospection on television.  Once again the images of that tragic day have seared their way into our consciousness.  Scenes of abject panic in the streets of New York, a blazing Pentagon in Washington, and smoke rising from a newly formed crater in a farmer's field in rural Pennsylvania have all brought back difficult memories.

Dedications and commemorations have taken place in every corner of the land.  The nearly 3,000 who perished that day have been remembered in countless ceremonies at the sites of where they actually happened and in the small corners of the villages and towns that dot this expansive country.  Sober faced politicians have laid wreaths and spoken words of comfort and compassion.  Partisan politics seem to have taken a much deserved vacation for at least one, brief weekend before resuming its mind numbing rhetoric with the beginning of the new week.  And this is as it should be.

For our family, today also marks an anniversary, for one year ago this very day, a bundle of energy and joy announced herself to the world.  Her name is Noelliah but we call her Noe (Noee) for short.  She came into this world with a smile and personality that proclaimed a new day had dawned and the world (at least ours) would never be the same.

This little girl, brought instant joy to her two sisters and proud parents.  There is something about her that will not allow you to take your eye off of her.  By the time Christmas rolled around, Noe was like bottled energy, all ready to be let loose but not sure exactly where to go with all of it.  She grinned from ear to ear her first Christmas day and anyone who spent time with her could have testified that she new the real meaning of the season far better than all the adults in the room because she simply lit up with joy.  I held her for a while on that cold and snowy winter afternoon and she was ready to go.  Her little legs were always in motion and that infectious smile lit up every feature of that three month old face.

During the course of her first year, she has delighted us with her antics and amazed us at how quickly she has grown.  One glance at a photograph reveals that twinkle in her eye that speaks of her love of life even at this tender age.  She delights in being with her sisters.  She cuddles with mom and warms those long evenings when my son Josh works long hours to support his brood.  She lights up as daddy comes home and can't wait to leap into his arms.

Yet, the joy of this first birthday could be tempered with the sadness that history has punctuated this day with.  The thought of thousands of innocent people who went to work that morning with no thought of death whatsoever suddenly perishing in a brutal, unprovoked attack could dampen any day.  And we could be forgiven if it did.  The misery and suffering of that day was enormous and has impacted us all even though most of us did not personally know of anyone who died in the World Trade Center, The Pentagon, or that lonely field in the countryside of Pennsylvania.  We are, after all, all connected by our very humanity and the thought of the carnage of that day is certainly a sad and melancholy thought.

Yet, that day with all of its sadness and tragic memories is not the whole story of 9/11.  Who would have guessed ten years ago that our family would be blessed on this very day nine years into the future with God's symbol of hope and joy.  That is what this day is all about.  We are not callous when we think of celebrating the life of this precious child born on one of the most historic day in our nation's history.  We are human!  Noe has brought a new dimension of life into our midst and it a dimension that demands celebration.  She is the embodiment of hope.  She is the future.  She will have no memory of that awful day that stunned us all.  She will have only the history books and stories from those of us who were alive when we were attacked.  Every day, little Noe is a reminder that God renews the face of the earth with new life.  Every day, every new child is a reminder that life goes on and it is ours to celebrate because despite the difficulties we encounter, each day is a gift.

And so, on this most somber of days, we do take time out to celebrate with all our hearts, the little girl with the big smile and enough energy to keep us all going for years to come.  Happy Birthday, Noe, from a grandpa that is grateful to God for the bundle of joy that you truly are!

Faith

Those of us who profess a belief in God are said to have faith.  Faith is a mystery that, no matter how hard we might try, we cannot fully and completely convey its meaning to others.  It is too mysterious, too personal to do any definition justice.  It is a word that believers use a lot, yet, I wonder how often we take this gift which comes from God, seriously.

To the believer of Jesus Christ, faith is an absolute must.  On the surface, our profession of faith in the Son of God seems ludicrous.  Let's just explore this for a moment.

We believe that this man who lived two thousand years ago was, in actuality, the Son of God.  We believe that He was both God and man.  We believed that He lived the perfect life, sinless and in the presence of God, His Heavenly Father.  We believe that He spent three years of His life traveling around the land of ancient Israel proclaiming the Kingdom of Heaven and Salvation.  We believe that after a time, the civil and religious leaders of the day had Him arrested, put on trial, found guilty of blasphemy, tortured and crucified.  But our belief does not stop there.  No, we believe that this Jesus Christ not only died on the Cross, but after three days in the tomb, rose from the dead.

Now no right thinking person would really ever come to believe in such a fantastic story.  It simply doesn't make sense.  It seems like some fairy tale made up to give some sort of comfort and hope to mankind who is awash in a world filled with skepticism and cynicism.  It is fairly easy to believer in a story of a man, a rabbi, going from town to town in ancient Israel preaching.  That was not all that unusual in those days.  And it really isn't much of a stretch to imagine that the authorities of the time would become suspicious of Him as He spoke to the common folk about subjects such as freedom, mercy, and the power of God.  But what does stretch the imagination is that this same itinerant preacher, who was killed by the Romans after a brutally process of torture, rose from the dead after three days of being in a sealed tomb.

That is where the gift of faith comes in. We believe in the Resurrection of Jesus Christ not based on some empirical evidence, but rather on faith.  Why do we believe?  Because Jesus, Who is the Son of God, said that He would rise after being sacrificed for the sins of men.  He is Truth.   There is no other Truth but that of Jesus Christ.  When Pilate asked Him was Truth was, he had no way of knowing that He was looking into the eyes of Truth.

We live near an empty world, devoid of truth.  We don't believe things unless they can be seen or detected in some way, shape, matter or form.  Scientists are the new High Priests of the age.  If a scientist proclaims something as the truth, we take him at his word even though evidence suggests that he is dead wrong about his assertion.  Take the debate of when life begins.  There is no doubt that human life begins at the moment of  conception.  Yet, there are those in the scientific community who insist that no one can truly determine the exact moment when a human being comes into existence.  Despite the evidence that the newly fertilized egg is now a living human being, millions through the years have steadfastly held their ground to state that no one can tell at what point life begins.

Faith is a gift.  Our faith is not really ours!  Our faith comes from God through the Holy Spirit.  The Spirit has touched our hearts with the call of the Father.  We have the option, by virtue of our free will, another divine gift, to accept the call of God to faith or to reject it.  One week accept it, we have the responsibility to develop and live it.

My faith has seen me through more than I could ever possibly recount.  It has gotten me through the dark moments of my life and has allowed me to become a stronger person because of the difficulties even though there may have been much pain involved.  Without this faith, I quite simply am sure that I would not have survived.

When you accept the gift of faith, you begin a journey that guides you to the acceptance of Truth.  We cannot accept Truth without faith and without Truth, there can really be no faith.  Faith does not make us special.  It does, however, allow us to understand how special our relationship with God truly is.  Like everything else that God does, faith is given in Love.  God loves us so much that His love knows no bounds. He gives us the gift of faith because, as our Creator, He understands us in a perfect way.  He knows how we best respond to those things which we truly do not understand.  He knows that man, with the remarkable mind that he was given, could not begin to fathom the reality of God, the wonder of Jesus Christ, and the mysterious nature of the Holy Spirit on his own.  It is through faith that we come to these realizations.

Faith is not something that you can acquire in a lifetime.  It is not like learning how to play the piano in that it can be learned.  No, faith is something that is freely given and it is up to us to freely accept it.  Faith is given to all.  Sadly, many reject this gift because it is too hard to understand and sounds like superstition to the modern ear.  It sounds like a throwback to the Middle Ages and things like witchcraft and magic.  So it is often rejected out of hand because it simply is not sophisticated in some circles to believe in the things that faith allows us to know.

Cultivate faith.  Encourage it in others, especially members of the family.  Teach your children the importance of this gift for it is far more valuable than anything life can provide.  Remind each other that faith is not easy, it is often demanding and humbling.  But it also bestows upon those who cultivate it a sense of peace and serenity that nothing mortal can give.

Most of all, have faith in the one sure being in existence who is worthy of our faith: God.  Trust nothing else in your life like you trust God.  Surrender to Him in faith and your rewards will be great.  Most assuredly, you will still experience the trials and sufferings of life.  They are a part of our human nature.  But living in faith, the faith found in Truth, all of those things won't matter much in the end.  All in this life shall pass.  There is nothing permanent about this world.  Indeed, this world is merely temporary and shall, one day, pass away.  The Truth will not.  Without faith, we cannot have Truth and without Truth, there is no hope.

Birthday!!

It is amazing how fast time passes.  When a child, I felt that I would never grow up.  The space between Thanksgiving and Christmas seemed next to an eternity.  A school year passed as quickly as a decade.  Days drifted by like a stick floating down a lazy, slow moving stream.  It just never seemed like the future would ever arrive.

But that was when I was a child.  Now, well into adulthood (some would say very well into adulthood!), I can't seem to get time to slow down.  Take the 10th day of August.

This is a very special day in my heart and will be to the last day of my life.  Thirty-four years ago on this date, one of the most monumental events happened in my life.  At one-thirty and one-thirty nine on a sunny, steamy summer afternoon, my first two children were born.  Twins!

Lincoln Michael entered the world only nine minutes prior to his brother Joshua Nathaniel.  A father can never truly describe the multitude of feelings that he has that very first moment he is introduced to his first offspring.   Your mind spins, trying to fathom what has just happened while wanting to leap for joy announcing to the world at the top of your lungs of your great good fortune.

In the moment that I met my first sons, I'm not sure I was consciously thinking of anything.  I was at once exhilarated and overwhelmed.  Tears welled up in my eyes as I beheld the greatest gift that God can bestow upon a man.

In that moment, the starting gun of time is cocked and ready to be fired.  Before I knew it, the boys were home and life would never be the same.  From the time they came home to the time they first entered kindergarten now seems like about two weeks.  Once they hit grade school, time flew by so quickly that it was hard to even track it on the calendar.  Then high school, college and into adulthood.  Time sped up and a month passed as but a day or two.

However, all of us who are of a certain age know this.  It is not a mystery.  We all say the same thing and because of this, this is really not what this piece is all about.

What it is about is two grown men who I cradled in my arms on that hot summer day 34 years ago.  It is about the kind of men they have become despite some of the difficulties that life has produced for them.  It is about two brothers who, despite the fact that they are twins, couldn't be much more different in personality.

Life has not always been kind to these two.  There were severe disappointments in their young lives that were extremely hard to bare.  Those times left their scars and each has dealt with these wounds in their own unique ways.

Sadly, a split occurred between us, caused by a man who did not know who he was or what he wanted out of life.  Yet, in spite of all of this, or because of this, each has become an example of what a responsible father should be like.

Both are loving fathers who find their life's joy in the midst of their families.  Family life means everything to the both of them as can be seen in how they relate to their children, my grandchildren.  They have become the type of fathers that I could only dream about.  The love they have for their children takes a backseat to no one and bolsters their children with a sense of well-being and safety.  They work hard to provide for their broods so that the life their children inherit will be a better life than they had.

I have a sense of pride on this 34th birth anniversary.  It is pride not in anything that I did, for I truly did very little.  No, the pride I have is in the kind of men they have become despite huge odds against them.  The pride I feel is for the way they conduct their lives from one day to the next, always keeping their priorities in focus and their energy fixed on achieving their goals.  The pride I feel is the pride of the kind of husbands they are, nurturing their wives and loving them no matter what life may throw at them.

But the reason for my deep sense of pride is the fact that God blessed me with such exemplary and extraordinary children.  I didn't always see them for the gift that they were, but now, with a number of years under my belt and a change of heart that took place several years ago, I realize that they were the greatest gift I have ever been privileged to receive including their sister and younger brother.

My birthday wish for them is that they continue to grow in wisdom and love as they pass through the various phases of life.  My birthday wish for them is that one day, they will come to see their children as the greatest, most precious gift ever to be found in the universe.  My birthday wish for them is to continue to walk the paths they have chosen with a sense of dignity and integrity that will bestow upon them a mantel of peace and extraordinary pride so that, on their childrens' 34th birthday, they may say "Happy Birthday" and have that greeting mean much more than happiness, but a deep sense of peace and comfort in the midst of their families.

You two have given me great joy over the years and you will be in my heart throughout this very special day!

Happy Birthday Lincoln and Josh!

A Little Christmas Amid the Heat

With the intense heat and humidity that so many of us have endured this summer, my thoughts will at times take me back in time to cooler, gentler days.  One such memory involves, once again, my grandfather.

My grandpa was the world and everything in it as far as I was concerned.  He was a man of deep principles and an amazing discipline.  He was a hard worker who took great pride and even greater pride in his family.

We were a small family living in a home of simple pleasures.  We enjoyed Sunday dinners together each and every week.  During the summer, the happiest part of the day came when my mother arrived home from work.  We ate dinner, waited the appropriate amount of time for the food to settle, and then we were off to the pool for a swim.

But one of the greatest pleasures I had was the annual decorating of the Christmas tree.  My grandpa enjoyed the season but one of the traditions of the season that he didn't look forward to was the purchase of the Christmas Tree.  He put it off for as long as he could and then, finally, at the insistence of my grandma, he headed out on a usually inclement night, to pick the family tree.

What he brought back usually, could barely be called a tree.  Because he waited so long, often the only trees left in the Christmas Tree lot were the "orphans."  These were the trees that had been rejected by everybody else because they just weren't quite good enough.

Our tree was usually scrawny.  There were holes and gaps where most trees had branches.  Its needles seem to drop off at a mere thought.  And its trunk was usually rather serpentine, making it very difficult for my grandpa to line it up in the stand so that the tree would appear straight as an arrow.

Below, you will find a poem that I wrote many years ago about this annual ritual in my home when I was a child.  In the poem you have my grandpa and grandma, along with me.  While there is no mention of my mother, rest assured, she was right there, helping to decorate this poor creature with the rest of us.

But the main character in the poem is not my grandpa or grandma.  It isn't my mother and it certainly isn't me.  No, the main "character" of the poem is love.  That is what my home was filled with and it was no more powerful and evident than at Christmas.  And that is what I hope you get from this little piece.  I was fortunate to have grown up in a home of love and peace, the same kind of love and peace that was bestowed upon the world with the birth of Jesus Christ.

So, now, as we all await some fresh, cool, and dry air to break the awful heat of this long summer, allow yourself to be taken back many years to that little living room in my home as the four of us, grandma, grandpa, my mother and I gathered 'round "The Old Man and His Tree."

The Old Man

And his tree

He was a proud man

Who year after year

Brought into our home

A sad, misshapen fir.

He was happy to shelter

Those poor misfit trees

Giving them a place of honor

With dignity and ease.

Proudly he set the tree

In its proper place.

Adjusting to the right, then left

Till it filled that corner space.

“gaps and branches Must be covered,”

Said his wife of many years

As about the tree she hovered

Concealing her laughter’s tears.

Dutifully he twisted

The oh so crooked boughs

Until, upon inspection,

It passed my grandma’s browse.

From the basement came boxes

Filled with ornaments and lights.

They were thoroughly examined

With anticipation and delight.

Carols of the season

Warmed the room

As he took his seat

Taking in pine perfume.

Lights were first

Upon the orphaned tree.

And as they were strung

Something began happening magically.

His cigar smoke circled

Above his old bald head

As the tree took shape

The homely, now somehow beautiful instead.

He smiled and hummed

As the ornaments were fixed.

And we were cheerful

To have the right color mix.

Tinsel was then hung

As the lights danced to and fro.

Christmas filled the room

With its special kind of glow.

I climbed the shaky ladder

And reached for the tree top.

I placed a shining star gently

And all came to a stop.

Oh, for those days

When an old man and his tree

Became a powerful symbol

Of his special love for me.

Silent night, holy night.

The gentlest night of the year.

I fondly remember grandpa

With a sentimental tear.