The True Meaning of Marriage

Recently, Archbishop Timothy Dalton, Archbishop of New York, recently wrote an incisive, if not provocative piece on the true meaning of marriage.  Some of you who may read this may think that the Archbishop and the Catholic Church and all who believe what the Archbishop has to say in his piece are old-fashioned, politically incorrect, and bigoted.  I am sorry for that because none of those things are true.  What is true is what the Archbishop writes about in his article.  It is time for truth to win out over political and social debate.  I hope those of you who read the article below will find the Archbishop's comments insightful and thought provoking.

"The stampede is on.  Our elected senators who have stood courageous in their refusal to capitulate on the state’s presumption to redefine marriage are reporting unrelenting pressure to cave-in.
The media, mainly sympathetic to this rush to tamper with a definition as old as human reason and ordered good, reports annoyance on the part of some senators that those in defense of traditional marriage just don’t see the light, as we persist in opposing this enlightened, progressive, cause.
But, really, shouldn’t we be more upset – and worried – about this perilous presumption of the state to re-invent the very definition of an undeniable truth – one man, one woman, united in lifelong love and fidelity, hoping for children – that has served as the very cornerstone of civilization and culture from the start?


Last time I consulted an atlas, it is clear we are living in New York, in the United States of America – not in China or North Korea.  In those countries, government presumes daily to “redefine” rights, relationships, values, and natural law.  There, communiqués from the government can dictate the size of families, who lives and who dies, and what the very definition of “family” and “marriage” means.
But, please, not here!  Our country’s founding principles speak of rights given by God, not invented by government, and certain noble values – life, home, family, marriage, children, faith – that are protected, not re-defined, by a state presuming omnipotence.


Please, not here!  We cherish true freedom, not as the license to do whatever we want, but the liberty to do what we ought; we acknowledge that not every desire, urge, want, or chic cause is automatically a “right.”  And, what about other rights, like that of a child to be raised in a family with a mom and a dad?


Our beliefs should not be viewed as discrimination against homosexual people.  The Church affirms the basic human rights of gay men and women, and the state has rightly changed many laws to offer these men and women hospital visitation rights, bereavement leave, death benefits, insurance benefits, and the like.  This is not about denying rights. It is about upholding a truth about the human condition.  Marriage is not simply a mechanism for delivering benefits:  It is the union of a man and a woman in a loving, permanent, life-giving union to pro-create children.  Please don’t vote to change that.  If you do, you are claiming the power to change what is not into what is, simply because you say so.  This is false, it is wrong, and it defies logic and common sense.


Yes, I admit, I come at this as a believer, who, along with other citizens of a diversity of creeds believe that God, not Albany, has settled the definition of marriage a long time ago.  We believers worry not only about what this new intrusion will do to our common good, but also that we will be coerced to violate our deepest beliefs to accommodate the newest state decree.  (If you think this paranoia, just ask believers in Canada and England what’s going on there to justify our apprehensions.)


But I also come at this as an American citizen, who reads our formative principles as limiting government, not unleashing it to tamper with life’s most basic values."

A Culture of Arrogance

Anthony Weiner, New York congressman, came forward to announce that the charges leveled against him in the last several days that he tweeted lewd images of himself to several young women were, indeed, true.  For days, the fiery liberal congressman has denied that he did any such thing.  He went so far as to say that he was a victim in all this having been victimized by some unnamed hacker.  Weiner, while admitting his guilt in this, also said that he was not resigning his post because he had a lot of work to do.  In the course of the statement he did apologize to his wife for causing her so much pain but never once did he apologize to his constituency or the congress itself.

It would be very easy to be smug about all this but I find myself feeling sad and angry.  It is sad that one of our leaders such as Weiner, has become so arrogant that he feels he can get away with nearly everything.  His arrogance led him to bad judgment and reprehensible behavior.  I am angered that men who find themselves in positions of power such as a United States congressman can think of himself as one who can do what he wants no matter what that may be.  Here Weiner, a supposed champion of women's rights, abused women with unsolicited, unwanted obscene photos of himself to women half his age.  And he refuses to resign?

Of course, in all the arguments in the aftermath of his admission, discussion of what he did was wrong but it wasn't illegal seems to have flourished.  In other words, as long as what someone has done is not against the law, even though it is wrong in every way imaginable, that behavior is OK and there should be no consequences for those actions.

The sad thing, of course, is that Weiner is far from being alone in his actions and responses.  His actions are a symptom of politicians in general.

We live in an age of arrogance.  This was demonstrated over the weekend by Sarah Palin, someone who is the exact opposite in political philosophy from Anthony Weiner.  Ms. Palin said that Paul Revere road his famous gallop through the countryside to not only alert the colonists to the impending British invasion, but to warn the British not to do it.  What?  Really, Sarah?  History does not bare this out.  To compound the problem further, when given the opportunity to straighten her statement out, rather than admitting she was wrong, she stood her ground, insisting that Revere's famous ride was, indeed, meant to warn the British of the American resolve.  Once again, a politician has exhibited an arrogance that defies common sense.

This arrogance must stop.  The time for politicians treating their constituencies as though they didn't have any greater than a second grade education must come to an end.  It is sad that we have reached this point.  Do you really trust a man to make crucial decisions about defense questions or health care questions who would be so stupid to send these kinds of pictures to young women over the Internet?  Do you really want to give the keys to the Oval Office to a woman who refuses to admit she was wrong about a rather insignificant historical fact?

We the people...need to begin to take seriously our role in American political life.  We need to become more astute in tracking what our elected representatives are doing.  It is time for the ordinary citizen to take his or her role as the most important part of political life in America seriously.  We get what we deserve and in Anthony Weiner and Sarah Palin we certainly do not have the best!

James Arness

On Friday, June 3, we who are members of the Baby Boom generation, lost a TV icon that many of us grew up with.  James Arness, the law in Dodge City, Kansas, known as Marshall Matt Dillon, died at age 88.  It is sad to see a passing of this sort not because I knew the man, but because of what he represented.

Gunsmoke, the series in which Marshall Dillon provided law and order, was on the air for 20 years.  It ran from 1955 through 1975.  This was just one western among many when it first aired.  Countless other westerns came and went during the course of its run, but none seemed to have the staying power or impact.

I was just a little boy when the series first debuted.  My grandfather was a huge fan and would never think of missing an episode.  Marshall Dillon, Doc, Miss Kitty, Chester, and then later, Festus, were all regular guests in our home for one hour a week.  The fondness I had and still have for the show lay in the fact that it brings back some of the fondest memories I have.  I'll never forget my grandfather settling into his favorite chair once a week to tune in to see just what Matt had to confront that week.  He'd light up his favorite cigar, cross his legs, prop his head up with his right hand and for the next hour, be transported back to the old days.  I can still smell the aroma of the cigar!

These were special moments that my grandpa and I shared.  He wasn't a big television watcher to begin with but he wouldn't ever think of missing Gunsmoke unless he absolutely had to.  I would often watch from the comfort of his lap.

Grandpa seemed to be taken with westerns and this was the best as far as he was concerned.  As a matter of fact, he used to get a tablet of paper as I sat in his lap and draw me pictures of horses and corrals.  He was anything but an artist, yet, he had a knack for drawing these animals.  They weren't sophisticated works of art and certainly would have no value as the art world determines value.  But to me, they were the most precious pictures that I ever had.  My only regret is that I do not have any of these drawings now.  However, I can still picture them in my mind.

Now James Arness never knew my grandfather and he never knew the impact that he had on a grandfather and grandson who enjoyed his work in a very special way.  Grandpa and I watched this special western and gifted cast up until the time of grandpa's death in 1964.  I am sure that there are millions of others who can remember similar memories because of this remarkable show.  Today, because of our technology, I am still able to enjoy those same episodes that grandpa and I enjoyed together so long ago.

James Arness and his work in Gunsmoke will go on for many years to come.  The show is a classic.  But the show's greatest impact may not be the quality of the work it represents, but of the kind of memories it brings back.  We all have a purpose in life and James Arness and the rest of the cast were meant to entertain using their talents.  And through those talents, he has helped to preserve some of the warmest and fondest memories of my life and it is for this reason that James Arness will be sorely missed.

The Humble Cicada

During this last week, those of us who live in the St. Louis area, have been suddenly bombarded by the screeching of an insect that makes an appearance once every thirteen years.  It is the humble, yet ugly, cicada.  This somewhat ominous looking insect is harmless.  It does not bite.  It does not strip trees and mature bushes of its foliage.  It simply emerges from the earth where it has lived for the last thirteen years, looks for a mate by creating a near deafening noise in the daytime hours, finds a mate and does what bugs do, then the male dies, the female lays her eggs and dies.  This life-cycle is short-lived.

These flying bugs are now with us in the billions.  Neighborhoods ring with the mating calls of these creatures.   Some go so far as to swoop down at you as you emerge from your home or car.  You can see them flying as you go down the highway, many of whom slam into your car, meeting death before they can reproduce.  If you look closely at any tree, you will find thousands of the little noise makers dangling from branches and leaves or clinging to the bark.  They all seem to sing in chorus at times and the noise can easily drown out the sound of any average sized lawn mower.  They are annoying, somewhat creepy, but completely harmless to man and most other creatures.

The other day as I listened to their chorus, something struck me.  This lowly little bug, this every thirteen year visitor, is yet another reminder of the greatness of God.  He has created an insect that emerges every thirteen years to mate and fill our ears with the natural screech of nature alive and vibrant.  These annoying little creatures are doing just what they were meant to do.  What purpose they serve is beyond me, but I am quite certain that they do serve something.  That is irrelevant to what I am talking about.

Like everything else in nature, beautiful or ugly, dangerous or harmless, big or little, these creatures are unique reminder of the mystery of God Himself.  They sing loudly and their song can be seen as a song of praise to their Creator because they are fulfilling the nature He gave them completely.  They give us a lesson in humility because these lowly creatures do remind us of our place in the universe.  God has elevated all His creatures simply through their existence.  Each has a place and each gives glory to Him when they fulfill His will for them.

The next time you hear these little noise makers cry out in the daytime, think of it as praise from nature for the God who created all.  Maybe we should join in the chorus by seeking out the will of the Father and finding ways to fulfill that will!

Memorial Day 2011

Today the nation pauses to honor those who, throughout our history, have answered the call to military service to protect and defend our freedoms from the threats of those who would gladly take them from us.

This annual observation, first begun in 1866, has seen times in which it was a solemn day of remembrance, a day of ceremonies, parades, and services, recalling the fallen heroes of our society who gave their last full measure of devotion so that the rest of us might enjoy the fruits of liberty.  But it has also seen times in which barely anyone paid heed to what the day was about choosing instead, to turn it into a celebration of summer while the once cherished dead lay quietly, unnoticed.  The politics of the time often determined the degree to which Americans honored their fallen warriors.

In spite of this history, it is imperative in this day and age, a time in which the United States of America is engaged in two wars while supporting military actions carried out by NATO in Libya, to remember the dead of our wars.

We must remember and honor the sacrifices made by countless families as loved ones marched off to battle only to lose them in the brutality of war.  We remember, too, those who feel on the field but did not succumb to their wounds, returning home broken physically and often mentally, a result of their service to us.  We remember the mother whose heart was pierced as the ominous black vehicle swung around the corner and pulled to a stop in front of her house with two men delivering a message of horror no parent ever wants to hear.  We remember the children who grow up never to know the father or mother who gave them life.  We remember the neighborhood kid who never seemed extraordinary in anything he ever did, that is until he entered the service and became a hero through his brave actions under fire.

We must be a grateful nation for all of those who have been willing to sacrifice everything, if necessary, to preserve and protect the greatest republic the world has ever known.  We must thank them by coming together as a nation, setting aside all political rancor while tackling the monumental issues confronting our society.  We must stand up for our beliefs, but to honor those brave men and women who have given their all in service to us, we must be willing to do what is necessary for the common good of the people so that liberty and justice will continue to be the foundation of this country.

We let freedom ring every time we come together as a community to lend a helping hand to those who, like the citizens of Joplin, MO, have had their lives devastated by a natural disaster.  We proclaim liberty throughout the land every time we write a leader with our ideas and criticisms of what they are doing.  We promote democracy every time we invite all who are Americans into a vigorous, yet respectful, dialogue about the issues that confront this nation.  And we honor our fallen troops every time we remember these shinning examples of what it means to be an American in our thoughts and prayers.

We have been given a great gift in the form of the United States of America.  God has showered His bounty upon us but that bounty has come with a high price tag.  We do not take this lightly, nor should we forget those who have taken up the challenge of defending freedom with their very lives.

And so, on this one hundred forty-fifth anniversary of the observation of Memorial Day, we pause to say thank you and may God bless you all who have given their lives as payment for our freedom!

The Marriage Blessing

Recently, I ran across what you are about to read below.  Years ago, at the very end of the wedding ceremony in the Catholic Church, the priest extended his hands over the newly married couple and pronounced this blessing.  I found it to be a moving and profound prayer and a marvelous summation of what the married couple had to look forward to.  Please read the blessing slowly and think about its various components, reflecting either on your marriage or someone else's marriage that you are familiar with.  This is really quite beautiful and really quite simple.

"May almighty God bless you by the Word of his mouth and unite your hearts in an enduring bond of pure love.


May you be blessed in your children, and may the love you lavish on them be returned a hundredfold.


May the peace of Christ dwell always in your hearts and in your home; may you have true friends to stand by you, both in joy and in sorrow.  May you be ready with help and consolation for all those who come to you in need; and may the blessings promised to the compassionate descend in abundance on your home.


May you be blessed in your work and enjoy its fruits.  May care never cause you distress, nor the desire for earthly possessions lead you astray; buy may your hearts' concern be always for the treasures laid up for you in the life of heaven.


May the Lord grant you fullness of years, so that you may reap the harvest of a good life, and, after you have served him with loyalty in his kingdom on earth, may he take you up into his eternal dominions in heaven."


I believe that this is not only a blessing for all newlyweds, but a blessing for all who are contemplating marriage or who may have been married for many, many years.  A husband and wife are responsible for each other both in time and eternity; this is what this blessing truly means.  Perhaps if the elements of this blessing were better known and better adhered to, there would be less divorce and the family would begin to resume its rightful place as the backbone of society!

Baby Joseph

A little boy, named by the press "Baby Joseph," has been given a chance at life.  A Canadian, Baby Joseph has been in the public realm over the last several days.  In short, this thirteen month old baby was born with a progressive neurological disease that is fatal according to the Canadian doctors attending him.  He was put on a respirator to help him breathe but once the diagnosis was made, the doctors wanted to remove the child from the respirator because the physicians felt there was no hope in saving him.  However, his parents objected to this move and went to court to obtain an order directing the hospital and the medical staff to keep Joseph on the breathing aid and to get another opinion regarding his prognosis.  The court denied the parents and the hospital staff was set to remove the respirator.

After this, a call went out to US hospitals to take the baby and perform a tracheotomy on the child and evaluate his condition.  Several hospitals throughout the country denied their request.  Finally, SSM Cardinal Glennon Children's Medical Center of St. Louis agreed to accept the child.  Late Sunday night, the parents, Baby Joseph, and Father Frank Pavone, director of the organization known as Priests For Life, flew to the St. Louis facility.  Today, the child is being evaluated by the medical staff to determine the best course of treatment for the little boy who clings to life.

Life is sacred.  It has no price tag, yet the hospital and Canadian health care system seems to have put a price tag on the head of this little boy.  Undoubtedly, the child's condition is fatal.  His prognosis is not good and will likely remain as such.  But the fact of the matter is that we have a responsibility to continue to provide treatment to those among us who are in the final stages of life.  This is not an economic decision, nor can it ever be allowed to become one.  We have no right to withdraw treatment such as a breathing tube to sustain life because life is sacred.  We are made in the image of God who created our very soul and because He is the Creator, our lives are holy.  That does not mean that everyone lives a holy life.  To the contrary, most of us do not!  But we all deserve every effort to keep us alive and comfortable should we find ourselves in the state that Baby Joseph is.

We cannot and must not allow any kind of health care system that is devised here in the United States to ignore the fact that each life has a right to the best of care till we die.  We cannot and must not allow the medical community or insurance companies to dictate the terms of life because life will then, indeed, be marked with a price tag.  How much is a child in the condition of Baby Joseph worth?  He produces nothing. He has yet to make any mark on society outside his family.  He is just there and every day that passes, his medical costs continue to rise unchecked.  Who will be paying for this part of his life?  All of these questions have no answer, of course.  And, yes, there is a crisis in the American health care system when it comes to what seems to be overinflated charges that needs to be addressed.  We must find answers to these questions and more but not at the expense of human life no matter what stage of life it happens to be in.

Baby Joseph is in an institution which clearly values life.  SSM Cardinal Glennon Children's Medial Center should be thanked and congratulated for standing by its Catholic principles and philosophy.  Life is indeed sacred and Baby Joseph is just one reminder of this fact!  Let us pray for this child of God and his family that all will be according to God's will and that whatever that will may be, peace will, in the end, reign.