"You Can't Handle the Truth!

In the 1990's, Rob Reiner directed a good movie called "A Few Good Men."  The film depicted the investigation of a young private's death at Gitmo in Cuba and the resulting court martial.  Near the end of the film as the story reached its climax, the main villain of the piece played so well by Jack Nicholson, uttered a line that has become a part of the lexicon.  When pressed by the character portrayed by Tom Cruise for the truth, Nicholson's character shouted, "You can't handle the truth!"  This line reminds me of the top news story that has actually managed to bump the BP oil spill from the lead story momentarily.

While it is very true that no one in the military should ever level criticism of the kind that General Stanley McCrystal did toward the Obama administration, maybe we should take a moment in the midst of all the hysteria and listen to what the general has to say.

McCrystal should have never revealed his criticisms to a Rolling Stone reporter.  He should have voiced those criticisms and concerns through the chain of command.  The military is absolutely dependent on strict adherence to discipline.  Without it, combat would be more of a nightmare than it already is.  No general has the right to go public with his criticism of the Commander in Chief regardless of the validity of his concerns.  However, maybe we should give an ear to the general and consider his complaints.

General McCrystal has served on the front line for a very long time and, because of this, knows firsthand what the every day troops must endure.  He also knows in great detail what it is like to deal with the Obama administration.  He sees the flaws in his leaders and is rightly concerned about how those flaws will effect the lives of the troops in the field. 

I have to wonder why the administration, elected on a platform of being more open and honest with he American people, has become so defensive in this matter.  Shouldn't they listen to the general a little more carefully to learn from their mistakes so that they can improve the lines of communication and command?  We teach our children to learn from their mistakes.  Is it really true that the President of the United States is above all that and couldn't possibly learn from his errors. 

We had the absurdity of George W. Bush not being able to think of one mistake that he made when he was pressed by a reporter.  Remember the outcry then?  Now, with Barack Obama at the helm, are we to believe that the president is incapable of making a mistake as well.  Maybe he was not prepared to meet with the general during that first meeting as McCrystal claims?  Where is the crime in this?  Haven't we all been in situations where we have found ourselves unprepared to take on a new and important task?  Granted, the task of the president in these matters is far above what most of us will encounter.  But the point is still there.

I do think that General McCrystal does need to be disciplined for his apparent insubordination.  But I also think we need to listen to him to see where we can do better.  I think it is the Obama administration's duty to see to it that they learn from the incidents outlined by the general and correct the situations the general reports.  Or is it, Mr. President, that, "You can't handle the truth"?

Milepost

In the life of every family there are mileposts along the way to mark the special occasions that grace life.  This past week, the King family quietly noted one of these mileposts without much fanfare but that does not mean it was not something on our minds.

My son, Josh, and my daughter-in-law, Melissa, observed their tenth wedding anniversary.  Ten years!  It does not seem possible that ten years could have gone so quickly.  Their union has brought great joy into the life of a proud father who has had the privilege to share many of those years with this most special couple.

Along the way, I have seen my son blossom into a man who is a man in every sense of that word.  He is thoughtful, kind, resourceful, energetic, dedicated, and so devoted to his family.  He conducts his life with integrity and dignity that defines what manhood should be.  He has embraced the love of his life with all of his energy and being and his pledge of lifelong devotion will, no doubt, be filled with many years of a life together.

As I have gotten to know my daughter-in-law, I have come to see her as a very special lady with gifts untold.  She loves Josh with every fiber of her being.  When they are together, she lights up.  When he cracks one of his dry jokes, her face beams with great laughter.  You can see that with Melissa in his life, Josh is completed as a human being and her life is complete with him.  She is a genius when it comes time to save money for the family yet heaps her gifts of natural motherhood on her family without reserve.

During these ten years, we have welcomed two new Kings into the world.

There is Aliyah.  Aliyah is filled with the energy and excitement that you would expect from any seven year old.  She loves to do nothing more than run and play in the summertime sun.  She lives for the pool and long walks with mom and dad.  Her passion is reading and will spend quiet hours devouring books and any other reading material that may be at hand.  She loves to teach her little sister how to read and delights in their time together.  She is the spitting image of her father and possesses the wit of her mother.  She, too, loves without reserve and gives her heart totally to all.

Then we have Keirah.  Keirah is a gentle soul.  Content to play alone or with big sister Aliyah, she is sweetness defined.  Her mind is sharp and is a sponge for detail.  She loves the summer too, and lives for those times when pool season comes along.  She bears a striking resemblance to her maternal grandmother and has an easy smile and loving way that touches the heart so deeply.  Keirah is a sensitive soul so that at times she bursts into tears for no apparent reason only to sport her captivating smile moments later.

And then we have the unknown King waiting in the wings for a scheduled appearance in mid-September.  What will this little one bring to our lives as the union of my son and his wonderful wife takes on yet another dimension?  It will be an adventure I am sure!

Lastly, I want to thank Josh and Melissa for gracing our lives with theirs.  We have all grown together and become a family.   The time that we have together is not nearly enough because of the distance between us.  But that is a blessing in itself because it makes the time we have together even more special, knowing that is not commonplace.  Our pride and love for you both knows no bounds and we couldn't be happier for the both of you. 

May God grant you many more decades together and may he continue to bless our family with the love and grace that he has shown in these last ten years.

Happy Anniversary!

A Very Special Day for a Very Special Young Lady

There are few turning points in life that linger longer than that of high school graduation.  It is a rite of passage in our society, one that travels with us in our memories for years to come.  It is a milestone that truly opens the door to adulthood as the future awaits.

Becca Watkins, a very bright young lady and my niece by marriage, strolled through that door today as she celebrated her graduation from high school.  Becca is a remarkable young woman.  She is conscientious, intelligent, giving, enthusiastic, and filled with a love of life that propels her forward with a special kind of joy.

I have only known Becca for a relatively short amount of time, but in that time I have had the pleasure of witnessing the evolution of a girl into a young woman, ready to face the new challenges of college and adulthood with a package of unique gifts and talents.  Next fall she will be off to college to study education in order to become a teacher one day.  This seems to be a perfect fit for this very bright young lady.

I have seen her with children and she has a talent that is surely from God.  She reaches them through communicating her sincere care and concern for them.  She is not ashamed to become like them whether playing with them on a swing set or showing them something from a book.  She has a soft, sentimental heart that extends to her family in a very special way.

Recently, Becca lost her paternal grandfather.  I witnessed her young heart wounded by this turn of events.  She was close to her grandpa.  She faced his illness with strength and dignity, visiting him as often as she could, her heart breaking every time she saw him slipping away.  Yet, she persevered.  It was a difficult loss for her, but through it all, I saw a young woman who did not run from the pain of the loss of a loved one, but faced the hurt with her head held high and her heart in prayer.

Now Becca takes her place in the world of collegiate academics.  A new world and new challenges lay before her.  I am sure she will reach her goal and become a teacher who will, for many years to come, touch the hearts of her students in ways that will last their lifetimes.

It has been my privilege to be a small part of Becca's life.  She is a very special young woman and will accomplish much.  Her parents can been quite proud of a daughter who has adopted their values and applied them to her life in a unique and moving way. 

I wish you the best, Becca, and may the joy of this graduation day be the launching pad of untold joys and happiness in the future.  Your future students will most certainly benefit from having known you and that walk across the stage to accept your diploma today is only the first step into an exciting future that I look forward to being a part of!

Congratulations Becca!

Memorial Day 2010

This is the first holiday weekend of summer!  Picnics have been planned.  Millions of people are traveling hundreds of miles to visit family and friends.  The local pools are about to throw open their doors for the hot weather season.  The time most Americans have been waiting for, endless days of warm sunshine, has arrived.

In the midst of this celebration of the welcoming back of summer, we cannot forget to pause this weekend and remember our fallen dead, those who have given their last full measure of devotion so that we may welcome summer in our own way, in freedom and peace.

The original Memorial Day was set aside to honor the fallen dead of the bloodiest American conflict, the Civil War.  Adjutant General John A. Logan, commander of the Grand Army of the Republic, an organization of Union Civil War veterans, ordered in a proclamation that, "The 30th day of May, 1868, is designated for the purpose of strewing with flowers or otherwise decorating the graves of comrades who died in defense of their country during the late rebellion, and whose bodies lie in every city, village, and hamlet churchyard in the land."  Thus began the observance of what we now call Memorial Day.

In the south, citizens gathered in cemeteries to place flowers and wreaths on the graves of their fallen heroes to honor their memory on what they called Decoration Day.  The southern commemoration was actually held separately from the northern observance until after WWI when congress declared that the entire nation should come together to honor all the nation's war dead on one day.

This weekend, we must remember that while we have peace in the land here at home, a brutal war is still being waged on the deserts of Afghanistan.  Thousands of troops are keeping watch over a tentative peace in Iraq as that country rebuilds.  On the Korean peninsula, thousands of American troops watch on as North Korea rattles it's saber, threatening war on the South.  And in countless outposts throughout the world, young American men and women serve their country, ensuring that peace is the norm rather than the exception.

Memorial Day is a somber occasion.  It is also a sacred occasion because we come together to honor all who have so nobly served.  We celebrate their memories with moments of silence out of respect for the lives they lived and secured for us the freedom to live life as we see fit.  We honor them for their self-sacrifice, leaving family and friends to go into the world to defend those who are too weak to fend for themselves.  We remember the past and are stirred by their stories of heroic bravery in the face of brutality.  We look to the present to see the ever present danger they encounter as new enemies threaten our way of life.  And because so many gave that last full measure of devotion, we can look to the future with hope in our hearts that all will be well because there were countless Americans who came forward to fight for freedom wherever freedom had come under attack. 

Enjoy the weekend.  Get your fill of hot dogs, hamburgers, brats, steaks, and tall cold glasses of lemonade, but do not fail to honor in your own way those who have died so that these weekend celebrations may continue into the future.  We live in uncertain times but one thing is certain.  America has always been the vanguard of freedom.  Thank you to all of you who have served your country!  And may God bless those who did give "their last full measure of devotion."

Changes

Life consists of one change after another.  Change provides the flow of a life.  It also provides the challenges that we often meet along our way.

The view out our front door has always been refreshing and quite soothing.  It was a wooded area with many trees and shrubs insulating us against the noises of modern urban life.  The woods have been home to deer, turkeys, frogs, and countless species of birds.  It is like living in the middle of a wild-life refuge.  It is not unusual for us to look out our window on any given day and spot several deer.  We often have the surprise and pleasure of seeing wild turkeys grace our bird feeding area. 

However, in the last few weeks, the "progress" of modern life has literally changed the landscape!

We live off a very busy road that carries thousands of cars and trucks per day.  It is a two lane street that has long since outlived its usefulness as traffic is bumper-to-bumper during every rush hour.  As a result, the state of Missouri has decided to re-route the road and, at the same time, widen the thoroughfare.  The new route the road will be taking brings it straight through our little slice of nature.

A few weeks ago, massive road building equipment entered the property and promptly began plowing through the wooded area.  Trees, which have stood for decades, came tumbling down with little effort from the powerful machinery.  Land which had been untouched by human hand for years, was plowed under and turned over.  Great scars in the earth opened up and where there was once the lush green of the woods there is now the dried brown of the newly exposed earth.  The landscape has been forever changed.

It is sad to see these few remaining vestiges of nature within an urban setting disappearing.  One of the things that drew us to our home was the fact that it had such a peaceful feeling to it.  Now, before we know it, a four lane highway, complete with bustling noisy traffic, will be racing not more than 200 yards from our front door.  Twelve foot high sound suppression walls will be erected to hide the noise where once stood graceful, majestic trees of an undetermined age.  Horns and the sounds of metal grinding against metal as vehicles collide will replace the morning songs of the countless songbirds that once called this area home.

The photos above clearly illustrate what is happening to our neighborhood.  The top picture is a photo of what the view out our front door once was.  The bottom picture is as it appears now.  What a difference!

For most, the change that is coming will be a welcome change.  Travel times using the busy highway will be greatly diminished.  The road will be far safer than the current one.  These are all positive developments.  But for us, the residents who once enjoyed nature in a very unique way just outside our front door, there is a sadness at the passing what was once an oasis of nature amidst the urban sprawl.  That's progress!

A Death In A Small Town

Before I came to live in the metropolitan area of St. Louis, I lived in a small town in central Illinois.  It is situated amidst expansive corn and bean fields with sweeping vistas of the prairie land in every direction.  It is a peaceful place populated with hard working families that produces a sense of family among the residents.  Because of this atmosphere, whenever a death occurs, the community experiences the loss.  But when the deceased is someone very young, the loss is even more greatly felt.

Such is the sad case that began to unfold in the early morning hours of May 5.  A young nineteen year old girl driving her car on a rural highway ran into the rear end of a car ahead of her and both cars went careening into the path of an oncoming semi.  The massive truck slammed into both vehicles.  When it was all over, the truck drive was uninjured, the driver of the car that the other car hit received only minor injuries, but the driver of the car that hit the back end of the other car was critically injured.  She had to be airlifted to a hospital in a larger nearby city.  There was little hope, apparently, from the beginning that she would survive.  A little earlier today, May 6, she succumbed to her horrible injuries.  She was only 19.

Word of her death spread instantaneously throughout the small town.  A pall of sadness has settled in over the little community.  Everyone in the town obviously feels a sense of loss that is personal even if they never met the young victim.  In a small town, this kind of loss is personal.

It has always been the case in small towns that everyone knows everyone else.  Or at least that's the perception.  There is a level of care and kindness that is palpable when compared to bigger cities.  It is a place in which the term neighbor has not lost its true meaning.  Everyone is connected in some way or another.  And so when a younger member of the community dies tragically, all pause for a moment to understand that it was one of their own who died and that they probably know someone who is either related to the deceased or at least knows them.

This is the heart of America.  The spirit of America which seems, in so many communities, to be dead, is alive and well in this small Midwestern town.  And so it is today.  The town is united in sadness over the passing of one of its youngest citizens.  Prayers are being offered for the family and food is being prepared to be delivered to the grieving family's home to help them through the next few horrible days. 

The memory of the young girl will be first and foremost on the citizenry's mind.  Many who never knew her will attend her funeral.  All will weep each in their own way.  The sadness will effect everyone in as many different ways as there are citizens.  The city will be gripped in the story of this promising young lady's death.  And in days to come, the resiliency of the citizens of Small Town America will begin to manifest itself.  Life will resume its normal pace but the young lady who died as the result of the tragic accident on a lonely rural highway will linger.  People will comfort one another and life will move on with the town a little more closely knit.

Life is experienced a little more differently in a small town.  And so is death.  There is the stabbing sting of the death and the loss of a young person that permeates each household.  But there also is the comfort of neighbor reaching out to neighbor.  There is the assurance that this, too, shall pass.  And there is the assurance to the family of the victim that they shall not pass through this time alone.  A whole community composed mainly of strangers will stand arm-in-arm behind them ready to give comfort and aid to them.  While the wound of the loss is deep, that wound will heal because of the balm that is the Small Town. 

I Have Seen Your Tears

In this world that tends to be very cold, we can find quick comfort in the revelation God granted the prophet Isaiah: "I have seen your tears." (Is 38: 5) Our hearts cry out to our God morning and night. We need Him to navigate through the complexities of life. Without Him we are nothing and with Him we have everything we will ever need.

In moments of sadness whether we are mourning the loss of a loved one or undergoing some challenge that has struck us to the depths of our heart, we can be assured that God our Heavenly Father has, indeed, seen our tears. We are assured by His very Son, Jesus Christ, that we will be helped. "Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted." (Mt 5: 4) But the question at this point must be, who will do the comforting?

It is our responsibility to become comforters at any given moment.  If we do not, then the world will become even colder than it already is for someone who is undergoing a challenge at the moment.  It is an amazing feeling to become an instrument of God.  It is a humbling experience that elevates the soul to unbelievable heights.

Once, many years ago, I was humbled to unwittingly become just such an instrument.  It all came in an unlikely place.  In those days I worked the late shift and traveled to work using mass transit.  There was about an hour where I had to wait for the next bus to the office.  It happened to be over the noon hour and my time was spent in the airport where my connections occurred.

The little chapel in the airport held Mass every day at noon.  I decided it would be a great opportunity to attend Mass daily.  One day, as I awaited the start of Mass, a very well-dressed young woman, apparently in her late twenties or early thirties, entered the chapel and sat not two or three seats from me.  As I knelt in silent prayer, I became aware of a soft sobbing coming from the direction of the young lady.  At first, I thought it was my imagination.  But as the moments passed, I realized that the sobbing was coming from the young woman to my left.

I didn't want to look so as to avoid embarrassment but I could not help myself as her crying grew louder and more painful with each tick of the clock.  It was just a few minutes before Mass began and the chapel had begun to fill.  Those entering could not help but hear her since the both of us were in the back row.  They stared, trying to figure out what was going on.  Finally, I decided that I must do something to see if I couldn't help her in some way.

I reached out to her and touched her on her shoulder.  She lifted her head from her hands, revealing a face marked with agony and stained with tears.  I asked her if there was something that I could do for her.  To my amazement, she moved to my side and put her head on my shoulder and began weeping even more loudly.  I was stunned, not expecting a reaction such at this. 

The priest and deacon who were preparing for Mass noticed the commotion.  They came to the back of the chapel to see what the matter was.  I was as puzzled as they were.  They motioned to me to bring her to the sacristy, a small room no bigger than a large closet, so she could have some privacy and compose herself.  I gently led her to the little room and closed the door as the Mass began. 

She sat on a small stool in the middle of the room and I pulled up the only chair available.  I looked into her tear-filled eyes and asked her what was wrong.

"I've sinned a terrible sin," she managed to say, chocking back the emotion.

"Tell me about it" I said, not really knowing what to do.

She began to explain that she had recently broken up her relationship with her boyfriend who she had been with for a number of years.  The split occurred because she found herself pregnant and wanted to keep the baby.  The boyfriend would have nothing to do with this notion and apparently demanded that she have an abortion.  She strongly resisted the notion because she felt that abortion was wrong.  He began to pressure her and kept increasing the pressure until she finally succumbed to his demands and had the abortion.  She fully expected things to be fine after the procedure.  That proved not to be the case.

Shortly after the abortion, the boyfriend declared to her that he had found someone else and that he was leaving her.  Her tears that day were due to the abortion and not the boyfriend for she realized that when the boyfriend left her, he did not care for her and certainly did not care for the unborn child that had been disposed of.

For the next fifteen minutes we spoke of what had happened.  I listened more than anything else, not really knowing what to say.  As time passed, her composure returned.  As she spoke, her voice became stronger and she began to smile a little.  She thanked me for listening and helping her.  I assured her of God's love for her and told her that none of us is free from something that we deeply regret.  With that, she rose from her stool, turned toward the door, looked at me one last time, and thanked me for being so understanding.  Then she left and disappeared into the crowded corridor of the airport.

I could not believe what had just happened.  It was completely out of the blue.  I was humbled that God had chosen me in that moment to be an instrument of His kindness and compassion.  In that moment, I was inspired to listen to this woman who was overcome with a sense of guilt where her abortion was concerned.  I have no idea why I was chosen for this role, but what I learned from it has filled me with awe since that day.

Comfort does not come out of thin air! God made us as social beings. We have an innate need to reach out to others, to touch their lives at specific times during their lives. It is a need that resides in the very core of our being. Too often, however, we ignore this need or, even worse, we deny its very existence. But recognize it or not, the need is present and must be expressed in some shape, manner, or form.

Who comforts us as we mourn our losses? God, obviously! Through us. Since God dwells within all who believe and seek to live out His divine will, we become instruments of God in every aspect of our lives.  We must become aware of His presence within us so as to be available in those moments when others may be in need to be the compassion of God at that time.  In this way, we can be assured that what God has said and promised is true.  "I have seen your tears."  (Is 38: 5)