2011

Another month has come and gone and as I turn the page of the calendar a brand new month and year stare me in the face.  Funny, isn't it, how ritualistic we all become over time.  Every year at about this time nearly everyone I know says something to the effect, "Where did the time go?"  Even funnier, when you think about it, the minutes, hours, days, weeks and months of 2010 actually passed no more slowly nor quickly than did the previous twelve months.  Yet, it does seem as though time continually picks up speed with each passing year.  Why?

All of us get caught up in the superficiality of life.  Our days are passed with endlessly meaningless tasks that we assign meaning to because we all want our lives to actually mean something.  So, as a result, we funnel our attention to trivialities such as the things we possess, not realizing that many of them actually possess us.  We take for granted the precious minutes that are allotted us and become impatient when the clock doesn't move quickly enough for us.  As we watch the time, urging it to move more quickly, we squander the here and now of the passing moment even though in reality that is all we have.

We go about doing things rather than being ourselves.  In our society, if we aren't busy, we aren't being productive and, therefore, are not contributing anything important to the world.  But just doing something to be doing it leaves us empty, without direction.  To be ourselves means that we have to know ourselves and there is precious little time in our lives for that what with all the doing that's going on!  We become bystanders to the parade of life rather than intimate participants and as the parade passes us by, so does life.

This new year is a perfect time to discover what it means to be!  What exactly does it mean to be a human being.  Are all we are is what we do?  Or are we something far more complex than our actions?  This may sound like the ramblings of a middle aged man seeking direction in his life, but I can assure you that in talking with many friends and acquaintances about this subject, I am not alone. 

All of us wants to get the most out of each moment that we live and breathe.  We have it within our own power to do just that but it will take courage because it is necessary for us to swim out of the mainstream of life and take in what society sees and non-productive elements of life.  Take time with your spouse.  Look at them through the eyes that you first looked at them with the first time you saw them.  Yes, they have grown older and may not have that youthful charm burning from within, but perhaps, just perhaps, if you try to capture them for what they have meant to you all these years, you will have a better understanding of who they have become and, consequently who the both of you are.

Look at your children.  They are the gems of life, yet how often do you lose patience with them as they struggle to grow up in a society that more and more often would deny them the precious years of childhood so they can grow up and earn a decent living?  Take them in as they are and see yourself in them.  They will never pass this way again and neither will you.  Drink in the moment and realize that they are reflections of you and are the hope of our future.  Nurture them because they are the greatest gift God could ever bestow upon a couple.

To those whom you call friend, give thanks.  Friends provide that necessary balance in life that keeps one from feeling alone.  The old saying about us not being able to choose our family but we do have the ability to choose our friends says so much about the value of a trusted friend.  They do not have to accompany us on our life's journey.  They have volunteered to be our companions and often prove to be our life rafts!  Friends, too, are very special gifts from God and one who has a friend has riches beyond anything the world can provide.

So as 2011 gets underway, take your first steps on the path to being true to yourself and your life.  Are you happy where you are?  Instead of worrying about tomorrow, next month, or next year, live in the moment.  Let tomorrow take care of itself.  Realize completely that the only thing we have at this moment is this moment!  The past is gone and the future is yet to take place.  Nothing can be done about either one of them.  However, by being in the present and living life to its fullest will make the past more meaningful and the future more hopeful!  Don't worry about the things we now call vitally important.  Worry about your relationships both with one another and with God.  They are truly the only reality that matters.  Happy New Year!

A Remarkable Year

As we near Christmas and the end of the year, my mind seems to naturally want to drift over the last twelve months in order to see where I have been and to where I might be headed.

The year 2010 is one that will stand out in my mind for years to come and will probably still be standing when I breathe my last.

While it is true that every year can be considered remarkable in its own right, 2010 seem to hold a confluence of events that taken by themselves would most certainly constitute those events we call life changing.  They are the events that, when recalled, evoke emotions and thoughts that may have been long since submerged into the subconscious mind.  However, this year, these earth shaking events seemed to come all at once over a twelve month period that no one could in their wildest imaginations call dull.

This year produced losses of monumental stature.  It delivered shocks that blindsided all.  It also brought the joy that life craves and demands sharing.  It had nearly everything. 

In the spring of 2010, the Smith family (my wife's family) experienced the sudden and tragic passing of the family patriarch, Lloyd.  Lloyd was an uncommon man in that his gentleness and way of life touched each one of us in ways that were so very personal and tender.  He reveled in his family over the years and took great pride in all they accomplished.  He loved every member in a unique way and showed that love by simply sitting back at family gatherings and smiling at all the activities swirling about him.

I shall never forget the April morning that he died.  He had been in the hospital for five weeks battling heart disease which was only discovered upon his admission.  For nearly four weeks, he had been unconscious after his heart stop for nearly seventeen minutes late one night.  He died shortly after 7:00 in the morning of April 9th.  His passing, while a shock, was not unexpected.  I remember driving the short distance to the hospital to see him in that bed one last time as though it was yesterday.

There was an irony to the morning.  It was early spring and all the ornamental trees were in full bloom.  The hills were alive with color for the first time in months.  There was a chill to the air that morning, but the a warming breeze gently blew the delicate flower petals in the bright sunshine.  Birds were beginning to sing loudly and all throughout the day.  Earth was coming to life after a long winter's slumber.  The sting of his passing still lingers within all who knew him.  Each of us treasures personal memories as we approach this first Christmas without him.  Our sadness is balanced by the wonderful moments we recall with the passing of each day and in remembering, it doesn't seem as though he is far away from us at all.  In fact, he isn't.  He is within each of our hearts.

Later in the year, on the King side of the household, two elderly members of the family were struck ill quite suddenly and unexpectedly shortly before another monumental event was to take place.  My dear daughter-in-law's grandmother and grandfather encountered health issues that shook the foundation of the family.  Anticipation of what was about to happen was tempered with the realities of older age and declining health.  But even in this, we were reminded of the wondrous resilience of the human heart that is dependent on God for its strength and tenacity.  Both members are doing fine for the moment, but, inevitably, trouble will come once again, and yet, because of the enormous faith of this family, all will be well.

Shortly before Independence Day, I received a phone call as I was driving to work that took me by surprise.  My mother, I was informed, had broken her hip and now lay in a hospital bed.  We rushed to her side and watched her lie still for three straight days under the influence of pain medication while levels of the blood thinner coumadin lowered in order that surgery might be performed to repair the damaged bone.  Eventually surgery was performed successfully and her rehabilitation began.  She moved to a nursing home where she received intensive physical therapy.  Through it all she showed her great determination and strength.  She vowed that she would return to her home in an assisted living facility before the end of the year and just a few short weeks ago she met that goal.  Her strength is remarkable.

In the fall of the year, my niece by marriage, Becca, set off for her first semester of college.  A very intelligent and charming young lady, she looked forward to the new adventure with great anticipation.  Mom and dad had a lot of anticipation as well and looked upon this new page of life with a bittersweet glance.  Their little girl, the light of both their lives, was moving into a new world.  She was truly becoming her own person now and that was both gratifying and frightening.  I am sure that the emotions ran high on that hot August day when Becca moved away from home and took up residence in her new world.  I am happy to report that she took to her new life with great excitement and embraced her new found independence in a manner that has made us all proud.  She has now completed her first semester of college and is embracing life with the vigor and enthusiasm as only a young adult can.

Life this year, as I said before, was a very mixed bag.  Yes, there was a lot of sadness with death, illness, and accidents visiting one right after another.  But there was also the joy of new life coming into the world.  In September, little Noelliah King came into the world to join her two bigger sisters and mom and dad.  There is nothing quite like the birth of a child regardless of whether it is the first child or the twentieth.  With each birth, we are reminded of the sanctity of life and how blessed we are to have new members of the family.  We are reminded that our sadness is not something that will last forever.  Sadness will be eclipsed by the joy of new life every time even though a part of us may remain sad over a loss.  With new life there is a future and with that future the one thing the human heart craves right behind love--hope.  To see Noelliah is to see the future and to know that God is looking out after us.

And so 2010 is almost history.  It was a year of death and life that was, at times, very difficult to bear.  However, because we have a family that survives on love of life and of one another, we have kept the proper perspective of things.  Yes, we will miss Lloyd, most especially as Christmas comes upon us.  His empty chair will remind us of the empty space in our hearts left by his passing.  But we will be heartened by the room full of family because it is in this that he lives on.

Our joy of our newest little one reflects the joy and hope of the season as we celebrate the coming of Jesus into this world as a man.  His was the ultimate sacrifice and we should take comfort in the fact that He knows exactly what this year has been for us because He lived among us as one of us.  It is in Him that we place our hope and our love and know that the wounds of 2010 will be healed by this Great Physician.  We also entrust to Him the newest members of the family as well as the rest of us who continue to live our lives out and who, in 2011, will come to love Him even more deeply.

And to all of you who read this, it is my wish that you have a very Merry and Blessed Christmas and that the loving Father who is God and Lord of us all continue to bless you with all good things and the promise of life eternal.

Is Nothing Sacred?

The Smithsonian Institution in Washington, D.C., has always been the storehouse for artifacts and memorabilia that has marked the history of this country.  Within its massive walls you will find such things as John Glen's spacecraft Friendship 7 that carried the first American to orbit the earth.  The venerable Spirit of St. Louis, the plane piloted by Charles A. Lindbergh, the first flier to cross the Atlantic alone, can be found suspended from the Air and Space wing of the museum.  A complete collection of the evening gowns worn by the First Ladies of this country are also on display.  Nearly anything with historic value and interest can be found within the Smithsonian's confines.  For all of its history, it has been a dignified repository of America's historic pieces.

However, in the last few days, the museum has seen fit to display a vile image of large ants eating at Jesus crucified.  The display entitled "A Fire in My Belly," also included other questionable pieces of "art."  But this image of Jesus on the cross being consumed by ants is way over the top.  To say the least, it is a defilement of an image that millions of people across this land hold sacred because of what it represents to them.

We do have freedom of speech and expression in this country but does that really mean that anyone can say and/or do anything they want and label it as freedom of speech.  One of my greatest objections to this display has been the complete disregard for believers in Christ the artist and the Institution have demonstrated in allowing this display.  Their freedom of speech seems to completely disregard of countless Americans to worship as they please.  Where is the diversity displayed in this exhibition?  Where is the compassion and the caring for those with whom you may have a philosophical disagreement?

Certainly the question must naturally arise, would the artist and the Smithsonian permit this exhibit if the victim of the hungry ants was Mohamed?  I think not.  The Muslim community would raise a chorus of protests and rightfully so.  The more extreme wing of the Muslim faith would most likely promise violence as a form of retribution for such a public display.

Is nothing sacred these days?  It seems not, especially when it comes to the Christian faith.  Those who preach tolerance seem to mean through their actions that they will tolerate only those who happen to agree with their particular points of view.  Anyone who disagrees with them is fair game using any method to attack.

There is very little explanation why there is such ignorance in the world with the exception of stating emphatically that this exhibit is yet again a sign of the reality of Satan in the world.  There are those who groan and moan and roll their eyes at the mention of Satan, relegating that particular belief to the status of myth that only those who are uneducated and unsophisticated believe.  Even the President of the United States joined in in this philosophy when, as a candidate for president, he talked about the masses who cling to their religion and their guns.

We need to pray for these individuals.  This is a form of persecution, this exhibition.  But we could and should have seen it coming for Jesus predicted it.  To paraphrase Him, He told us that we should not be surprised if we were to be persecuted since those of His time persecuted Him for His teachings.  What makes us any different as followers of the Master?

Fortunately, late today, bowing under pressure, the Smithsonian relinquished and closed the exhibit.  However, the damage to this venerable institution has been soiled badly.  We must look to Christ for direction in situations like these.  We must condemn the actions of groups like these but we must also remember to treat them with dignity and integrity for they, too, are children of God even if they do not believe.

Is there nothing sacred?  Yes there is!  And it is the dignity of man simply because we are all children of God.  The battle will not be won on some field somewhere with weapons.  It will be won with prayer and gentle, yet firm admonishment of artists and institution who are insistent on exhibiting such vile pieces of "art."

Retrospection

Now that Thanksgiving 2010 is in the books, it is time to look back at the holiday with some insights that may be new, but probably not.

I had the distinct pleasure of spending the holiday with members of my wife's family.  We were invited to their beautiful home in the Ozarks for a wonderful feast celebrating the things we are most thankful for.  That  is what the day is for, after all.

When all thirty or so of us had gathered, it was time for grace, to acknowledge God as the center of our lives and the reason for the feast which we were about to partake of.  It was interesting how the group gathered for the prayer.  We all assembled in a circle.  No one directed this, it just happened.  It was interesting that we did this because the circle is a never ending thing.  It has no beginning and, hard as you might try, you will never find an ending.  It is perpetual. 

That is what a family is in a way.  At one point in history it may have had a beginning with a young couple united in matrimony starting a family.  As time goes on more and more members join the unit whether they are born into it or join it through marriage.  As the circle grows, it becomes more diverse, stronger.  The love that is shared has a perpetual quality about it since the love shared in the present will resonate well into the future.  The circle will continue to enlarge or it may shrink, but the love that binds will not diminish.

Family is what Thanksgiving is ultimately about.  Sure, we're all individually thankful about various elements in our lives.  However, for most of us, the thing we have to be most thankful for are those people we call family.  Without family, life is a hard and cruel place.  Yes, families do feud from time to time and some may even go years without contact or speaking to one another.  But even in these less than acceptable conditions, there is still that familial love that binds and will continue from this world to the next.

As we gave thanks in prayer, our attention was drawn to the center of the circle.  There was nothing there but empty space.  At least that is what the physical world told us.  However, in reality, the center of that circle, the focus of our attention, was the love that was shared for each individual standing around that geometrical shape.  And that love, in that moment and into the future, came from a loving God who had gathered us together for this occasion. 

So you see, God was and indeed is, at the center of this family's life.  May He continue to bless us with His bounteous love and take us well into the future as Thanksgivings continue to come and go.  

A Time of Thanks

This is the traditional time of year that we all look back over the last year in order to take into account what we have to be thankful for.  Most of the time for many of us, we like to look over our treasures, both little and large, to gauge just how well the year was for us.  But I would like to reflect over the next few moments at something a little different than goods and services that may have in some way improved our lives.

This has been a year of remarkable swings in the fortunes of the families that I am honored to be a part of.

The year began as any other year might.  All were filled with hope and anticipation that 2010 would be at least a little better and kinder than 2009.  However, as the time moved forward, things took a turn for the worse for my wife's family.  Their father, Lloyd Smith, was diagnosed with severe heart problems and operated on in the early days of March.  He came through the surgery without any problems, but soon after surgery, he lapsed into a state of unconsciousness that ended, sadly, on April 9.  The giant of the family had gone home.

On my side of the family, however, 2010 brought the hope of new life and the future.  On September 11, 2010, our fourth granddaughter was born to my son Josh and his wife Melissa.  What a blessed event it is to see new life ushered into our midst!  Their family, three girls along with mom and dad, have much to be thankful for.  About a month later, in mid-October, my other son, Josh's twin, welcomed into this world the first King grandson.  Again, new life brought forth new hope.

And there were the minor, almost unnoticed details that make up a bulk of the time of a man's life.  Good and bad, they constitute living and living is far better than not being at all. 

This year has been a treasure in so many ways.  Through the tragedy of the spring, I saw, and was a part, of a family drawing closer together as they bid their father farewell.  It was heart wrenching to see the sadness and grief on their faces as they lay to rest their parent.  But Lloyd would have liked the outcome.  He would have liked the fact that all came together in a celebration of his life as they remember the myriad of stories recalled during the funeral.  There was far more laughter and nostalgia during those few days of mourning than there were tears.  The fabric of the family was not torn nor was it weakened.  Rather, it was strengthened and made anew with the memory of a beloved mother and father as the centerpiece of the life of the siblings.

Through the joy of the fall, I witnessed the hope of new life.  I saw the future burn bright for young families who are the building blocks of our destiny.  The smiles of newborns are hard to resist because they dispel the darkness in one split second and somehow, the world doesn't seem such a lonely and cold place in which to live.  The hope of a future filled with promise and excitement looms before this family and life, energetic, exuberant life, charges forward.  And through it all, our spark of life is renewed and rekindled.

And then the treasure of a spouse who you do not know what you would do without comes to mind.  Joan is not only my spouse but my friend, my confidant.  She, too, gives life and energy to me and makes me understand the important things in life.  She is my heart and soul and life is simply unthinkable without her.

So as we gather around the Thanksgiving table tomorrow, regardless of whether that table is a magnificent tribute to the bounty that we have been blessed with, or whether that table is a humble offering of the love reflected in the family gathered to give thanks despite its meager contents, may we not forget to pause and give thanks for one another.  Then, in the end, but certainly not last, may we remember to give thanks to God for all His blessings large and small.  As Archbishop Fulton J Sheen once said, "Life is worth living!"   May we always live it to the fullest filled with thanks each and every day for the people in our lives who help to make us who we are. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Oprah's Stuff

I realize that what I am about to write may evoke some anger among some who may visit this site from time to time.  My purpose is not to anger anyone but to share with you my viewpoint of the incredible Oprah giveaway that took place on last Friday's (11/20/10) show.

As usual, the audience gathered for the show in Oprah's Chicago studio not knowing that this was her annual gifting fest.  As far as the audience knew, the shows subject was to be meditation.  The adoring fans awaited for Oprah's appearance and she did not disappoint.  The audience obligingly rose to their feet amidst screams of adulation as though some great military hero had just entered the room.  She began the show by introducing the subject and then pulled the surprise.  From here on out, the audience could barely control itself.

As each prize or gift was announced, the audience once again obliged by going wild.  Both men and women jumped and clapped and screamed at the top of their lungs as the gifts were either distributed or shown to the audience.  It appeared that there was about to be a mass fainting spell at any moment.  This orgy of celebratory nonsense went on for what seemed to be hours even though the show is only an hour long with commercials.

This frenzy continued throughout the entire show.  It was amazing to me how excited the members of this audience became over these gifts.  Mind you, the gifts were not your ordinary gifts.  There was a plasma TV and expensive jewelry among other things.  But such display of hysteria over mere material gifts was beyond my understanding.

Now there may be some of you who would say to me that I might react in the same way.  Since I have never been on the receiving end of such opulent gifts, I wouldn't know how I would react.  I would hope that I would be far more restrained than Oprah's audience was.  To me, this display was bordering on the obscene.  It highlighted the notion for me that our material world has completely hijacked any notion of common sense and robbed us of the values that have made our society envied throughout the world.  I have to wonder how many of these people complained about the lavish travels of Michelle Obama to Spain complaining of her spending so much money while millions were unemployed and finding it difficult to feed their families.  I wonder, will any of these audience members sell their gifts and give the money to charities who look after the poor, the hungry, and the homeless?

All of us like to receive presents.  Its fun.  We all enjoy being on the receiving end of someone's generosity.  But what I am saying here is that this is materialism gone wild.  I am not questioning Oprah's motivation.  She may be, in fact, a very generous person.  What I am saying is that her gifts to this group of people and their resultant reaction tells me something disturbing about society as a whole.  I'm afraid that there are many of us who would react in much the same way.  Have we reached a point when materialism has become our god?  Or has the drive to obtain things always been this ferocious?

Christmas is the time when we celebrate the ultimate giver, Jesus Christ.  He gave His life so that all may live.  I wonder if the joy on display on the Oprah show as the presents were rolled out will be duplicated in the churches as we celebrate the coming of the ultimate gifter!  I rather doubt it.

A Special Day

I happen to share my life with a very special woman.  She has come to know me better than anyone else has ever known me in my lifetime.  She gives me grounding and courage to fight the daily battles that we all face as soon as the door opens to the world in the morning.

I can count on her for her wisdom and humor.  She laughs at my lame jokes and puns and is always willing to accommodate my sudden urges to go somewhere and do something on the spur of the moment. 

We laugh together and have cried together.  We are truly each other's best friends, not in the adolescent way, but in the way that gives life meaning and understanding between two people.  We look to one another for understanding and comfort.

Remarkably, we have faced numerous crises together and have always come out the better and the closer for having done so.  In her battle against breast cancer, she taught me the true meaning of the word courage.  She taught me that even though fear can run deeper than anyone might possibly imagine, you can face that fear with courage and determination that defines the word dignity.  She was determined to overcome this potential killer and did through her faith in God and confidence in the amazing medical staff that saw to her every medical need.

Today is an important day in our lives for on this day we celebrate yet another birthday.  She deserves all the happiness in the world on this day because she has brought an abundance of happiness to not only me but to her sons as well as her family and friends.  One of the greatest blessings I have experienced in my life is the blessing that God has bequeathed in allowing me to grow older with her.  Life is far richer, more interesting, and more meaningful because of her presence.  She gives of herself without a word of complaint and loves me despite all my faults.

Happy Birthday my dearest Joan.  This day is for you.  This day is a day for celebration and looking forward to our lives together in the future.  May God bless you with all the happiness you deserve on this day and may our future years together be as wonderful and enriching as the past years have been!